YB"N

Reevaluating the Philosophy of Forgiveness

2011-01-22T08:41:00.000-08:00

When I was younger, the concept of forgiveness was a reality for me. In fact, it was a necessity. You could not really live without forgiveness because the stain of guilt was a thing that bore down on you even unto death. Dying with guilt was dangerous and the possibility of such an end made life a dangerous game. Jesus was a convenient way to ensure a clean death and if others still held animosity against you, it would be their own scourge and not yours.

I bought my way into heaven with Jesus because I felt that I needed forgiveness. The things I needed forgiveness for make me laugh now. I never did anything horrifying as a child but I was taught that even small sins were sin and that I could go to hell for looking the wrong way at another man's wife or, worse, another man. Good thing I had Jesus, otherwise all that porn would have damned me straight to hell. It's no surprise that, when I found myself more interested in worshipping the cosmos, the Earth, forgiveness was the first doctrine to go.

I dumped forgiveness because it has become, in our society, a path of escape instead of one of reconciliation. I have heard Christians and Jews say that forgiveness is not permission to keep sinning but a way to find freedom from sin and begin the journey to penance. And I am sure it is not just them. Most moral and moralistic people will tell you that forgiveness is about putting your feet back on the ground after you are truly sorry. A thief can be truly sorry after he robs a convenience store and he can also plan on being truly sorry before he does it and go ahead and do it anyway. Is he any less truly sorry afterward?

This approach to forgiveness - disregarding it entirely - really worked for me for a long time. In my mind, no one deserves forgiveness and it should not be asked for or granted. Take responsibility for your actions. If you rob a convenience store, you should return the money and probably serve jail time. That's all. There is no way out. On a cosmic level, there should be no safe place in heaven for a child molester. I don't believe in hell, so I suppose that means the molester reincarnates as something awful and his soul is purified by torment. Basically, everything is purgatory. There is no heaven, no hell, nor forgiveness. The universe responds to our actions blindly, as Justice, not mercifully, like Jesus. None of us can or should escape.

I still believe this. I believe that Jesus was and is the Son of God and I still believe this. Now, obviously, the way that I approach my relationship with him is vastly different than how Christians do. I do not believe the "New Testament" is the Word of God or an accurate portrayal of Jesus' life and message. I do not believe that you need to believe in him to get into some elitist club (which is a Gnostic ideal, not a Christian one, by the way). My perspective of Jesus is that he is a healing deity, an enlightener, and a patron of social justice. My Jesus is anti-abortion but pro-choice and he supports civil rights and gay marriage and he offers no forgiveness, no salvation, but instead something entirely different.

That different thing is what actually turned me off to associating with modern "followers of Christ" whether they call themselves Christians, Messianic Jews, or whatever. In the Bible, it never says that salvation comes from the sacrifice of Jesus. In fact, salvation is an entirely independent concept from that sacrifice. The reason why this distinction never entered into Christian doctrine is that some Christians, for 1500 years or more have been desperately trying to cover up this truth.

In Hebrew, there are two energies you need to be free from "sin." Y'shua, which is salvation, is first. Kappara, atonement, is second. Christian theology treats these as the same thing but the Bible does not because they are not. Y'shua, salvation, is belief in God. It does not come from belief in God it is belief in God. People who do not believe in a higher power are not "damned," they just will not experience spiritual reality. They are entirely limited to the physical world, having no access to spiritual phenomena. They worship idols but do not know the reality behind them. Those who have salvation, however, know that their graven images are just graven images. While they have spiritual power, they get it from a higher power. If you do not believe me, read the Bible. Even apart from the furnishings of the Tabernacle, there are many incidences in which God commands the creation of a graven image to represent itself. (The Bible actually commands the Jews to set up idols. The only cases in which idolatry is actually condemned involve a detachment of the physical representation from the represented deity. Bowing to a statue of Jesus with full knowledge that the statue is a representative of a spiritual being is absolutely permissible.)

Now on to Kappara. There is only one way to obtain atonement in the Bible: blood. Sacrifice is necessary, blood must be spilled, for the people to be atoned for. But Christian theology, in treating salvation and atonement as two sides of the same coin, detract from the beautiful reality of these terms. Atonement does not save the soul, it removes imbalanced energies from the human energy field. I know it sounds crazy, but tarry on.

In the ancient Greek world, which is to say in the sphere of influence of Delphi, an accidental murderer was freed from his crime in a similar way to how the Bible describes the process. The poor soul would flee to Delphi and throw himself at the feet of the Priest or Pythia there, depending on whose rendition you prefer, and a piglet would be sacrificed over him at the Omphalos or Center of the World. The blood would rain down on him and the sacred stone, appeasing the Furies and assuring the gods that justice had been served. The unlucky man was then free to go and could not be killed by an avenging relative of his accidental victim. The Bible has a similar deal and even says that Israel should build cities of refuge in which accidental murderers and other types of pathetic fugitives can find safe haven.

This is atonement. It is not forgiveness for the sin because we can hardly say that the accidental murderer has sinned. I suppose it depends on what happened that led to the accident but, seeing as the same procedure is followed in self defense killings and even in righteous honor killings, there are certainly cases in which no sin is incurred. The trouble is, the Bible does not give as a word to describe that thing that atonement removes. Arguably, it could be guilt. Some have argued that salvation is freedom from sin and atonement freedom from guilt of sin, but I prefer to call it pollution or Miasma, as the Greeks did.

Miasma is not sin or guilt. In fact, it is not a human feeling. Miasma is an energy that attaches to a person who has taken a life regardless of why the life was taken. So long as Miasma is still attached to a person, that person can spread it to others, inciting a plague, or he can be chased down by the Furies and driven fatally insane. Atonement relieves the atoned of Miasma, pollution, an energy which affects the individual now, while he lives on Earth.

Notice that forgiveness has nothing to do with it. Salvation from faith means that you get to experience the Spirit World while alive. Atonement from sacrifice means that the experience is clean. The Bible never mentions an afterlife where this becomes extremely and eternally significant. It is important now. When Jesus died, a human sacrifice, his blood provided atonement on a spiritual level that would serve as a reservoir for the next Age. That Age ends in 150 years from now, give or take, and the blood will run dry. Atonement will come not from martyrs then but from individual people striving to live for all other individuals. Some people call this the Age of Aquarius.

So where does this leave me in my reevaluation?

Recently I experienced what it was like to be in the presence of someone who has contracted Miasma. I love this person so it was really a beautiful and intriguing experience and it did not bother me like I thought it would. At the same time, I know what Miasma can do. I know that it is contagious and that knowing someone, even being very close to someone, who is afflicted by it, is a dangerous thing. But this is why I am reconsidering all of this. I can not ensure that his salvation is intact nor am I interested in leading him to it. Some people do not lead spiritually "in touch" lives and they have the right to choose that path. I also can not provide for him atonement so that the Miasma will go away. While I have nothing against animal sacrifice, it is not exactly a hobby either. And also I have no interest in proselytizing for Jesus. This is where another force comes into play.

Forgiveness, on an energetic level, has the same effect as a giant forcefield. Forgiving someone who, in your perception, has incurred guilt or Miasma, protects you from that negative pollution. It also reduces the efficacy of the pollutant. An individual who receives the energy of forgiveness feels a pull on himself and a push on his negative attachments. This polarization can tear someone away from Miasma. This push/pull is what the contemporary abuse of forgiveness has altered. I abandoned the philosophy of forgiveness because it was not serving its purpose anymore. Now I see a way that it can. Atonement, not salvation, is what forgiveness provides.

In our culture, human culture, things that we have done in the past really matter to us. Things other people have done in the past matter more. Whether or not we believe it, we hold people to their actions in a way that really does not allow them to heal and grow. If a woman gets an abortion and people know about it, she is going to feel that Miasma forever. The people around her will never let go and they will continue to pile on the guilt and make her feel like a criminal. On the other hand, if they utilize the cleansing energy of forgiveness, they facilitate the healing process.

Human beings really do have this power; they have the power to forgive each other and cleanse their energy fields of pollution. When we abuse this power to find freedom from responsibility for wrongdoing, we diminish it. We are no longer effective, as a society, in forgiving. We have to learn what it is and how to do it again. We need to allow our wrongdoings to be wrong instead of escaping from them and then, when we have finished making reparations, we can move on.

I encourage anyone who feels led to take action on this idea, to join me in an experiment. When you go to bed and when you wake up, say these affirmations to help shift your consciousness and all human consciousness toward clarity. If there is a particular person in your life who needs healing or who you feel animosity toward, hold that person in your mind while you recite these.

1. I believe in the creative power of Nature/God/Goddess/the Universe. By the power of this belief I reinstate my place in the Spiritual World.

2. I am free from the pollution of misdeeds. I take responsibility for what I have done and work toward the reconciliation of all people.

3. I forgive myself and all of the people around be for the pollution that we suffer. By the power of that forgiveness the human race finds healing in unity.

Thank you for reading,
Josh

Spontaneous Mushy Stuff

2010-12-19T19:47:00.000-08:00

Here is some spontaneous mushy stuff for your enjoyment. At this the darkest time of year I feel it is especially appropriate. It's hard to feel mushy sometimes when the ground is anything but:

My belly is a constant reminder
Telling me what I'm feeling
Even when I feel nothing

Today it tugs on my heart
I'm feeling good
A new spirit invades

I don't call it love
Love jinxes everything
And hexes spurned lovers

But I will soon be helpless
To call it anything but
To hold off my belly from wringing out my lungs

Suspense is an emotion
One that strangles breath
And tortures loins

I can't imagine what it will be like
To have this demon
Gone from my body

This Deva of Waiting
She Is not patient
And is not kind

I give into her charms
And turn all my faculties
To face that libidinous fascination coming

Read me and write me and write on me
Be me and breathe me and be with me
Love me and leave me and let me be lonely
Kill me, consume me, and bare me, yours only.

12 Affirmations for our Generation.

2010-12-06T08:44:00.000-08:00

If we all say these every day, I believe we can change ourselves first and then the world. We need to stop looking to the media for our sense of right and wrong and find it in ourselves. Stand in front of your mirror and join me! Feel free to add your own, but remember to speak only in the positive and present tense. Whatek!

I am real and my world is real. I embrace it as it is and acknowledge my power to change it.

I love freely and I am loved by others. Our love is omnipotent and omnipresent.

I define beauty free from cultural stereotypes and see myself and all others as beautiful.

I have compassion on those who suffer and receive help when I suffer.

I am prosperous and share prosperity appropriately. I am free from the snares of envy and gossip.

I receive guidance from the Divine and share it with others when I am called.

I am free from bondage to any thing and I am empowered to free others.

All of my relationships are pure, healthy, and universally beneficial.

I embrace my sexuality completely and honor the sexual nature of all people.

I recognize that I and all others are learning and I find joy in the process of evolution.

I find happiness and peace even in chaos. I remember that nature and justice are blind.

I know my physical limitations, when to honor them, and when to challenge them. I am healthy in every way and I declare that my health is mine and it can not be taken from me without my consent.

- YB"N Rev. Joshua William M Berkowitz

A poem in the works...CATVLLVS

2010-11-19T08:35:00.000-08:00

CATVLLVS
* Certainly not a final product but a promising one. Read Catullus 32 for context...

I lay on my back
Full from my lunch
Burning through my
Briefs and jeans

And if I'm not, really
If I'm just only saying so
It wouldn't matter
You're not here

Since you aren't
I could be lying
Limp as uncooked bacon
Empty as a glass

Then why do I tell you this
Ask you what you're wearing
Imagine being with you
Something that is false

Maybe what I'm really doing
Isn't what I say
But something all the better
Something you'd want more

Sitting here and telling you
What's going through my mind
Is not what's in my heart
Might annoy you slightly

If you could see the truth
Without the blinders of distance
You wouldn't be annoyed
You would have to sit down.

New Poem: Brain Love Meal

2010-11-18T21:27:00.000-08:00

Brain-Love Meal
- I dedicate this poem to Arayah, may her name be magnified by every loving deed. May she hold my boon in place. And may the Mother protect what I seek.

I hated those pop songs
People listened to
Mouth-Ears hungrily
Eating for Stomach-Brains
The rest of their bodies
Waste receptacles
Deposits of abuse
At the hands of belief.

I hated those love songs
Popular music - for everyone!
No one understanding what their ears imbibed
Drunk on sound
Gorged on rhythm
Robotic cacaphony
Singing for cacaphoniphiles
Starved torso, legs
Fed to an obese head
Tumor of a brain
On starstruck body
Beaten by lovers
Promising not to be false.

I loathed those people
Who listened to songs
To remember the love
Lost on the beloved
And yet I found myself here
With a hungry mind
A withered heart
And I eat-listen.

I eat the tone of intrigue
I breakfast on pursuit
Buzzed from drunk affection
I fall ill from sweet nothings
My ears open wide
Lobes unhinging
Snapping at passing notes
Waves of music of love: the meal.

My brain is full
Heavy it hangs
Down to breathless chest
Ribs the love-music crushed
Beaten black and blue
Feet shredded by dance
Surrendering at last
I am gorged
On loving you
On the music loving you.

Lightening

2010-11-10T20:38:00.000-08:00

Lightning coursing white and gray
Emanating from the sky
From above her shameful black
Glorious, lucid, shameful dark

In the throws with sin I cry
Ecstasy, release my pain
Drench my bed and soak the night
Tears of glist'ning silver moon

Glorious, lucid, shameful dark
Welcome bonds upon my wrists
Veil with silken perfumed fold
Bind me from my sin again.

Burning.

2010-11-09T19:28:00.000-08:00

With all the music and the fashion of today, it is hard not to feel somewhat inadequate. I used to write poetry and make up stories. I designed my own worlds from the ground up. How did I arrive at run-of-the-mill? Sometimes I want to run away and stop fighting the things I can not change, abandon them completely, put on a lot of make up, and become someone else. Sometimes I do that. I do it at night and with an invitation to a "costumed" event. What I find, though, is that there is still a me I am trying to become and pretending doesn't cut it.

I tell myself, once there is enough money, once school is done, once vacation comes, once I find the right outfit, once I can get the right shoes, once I speak enough languages and have clear skin and nicer hair and a better man I will finally do it. I will go out and make me the me I always wanted to be. And that day never comes.

I've lost hope - in some ways - that it will come; that there will be a day when my image and lifestyle fit my feelings. I've lost hope that I will be the type of person who is cleanly elegant, with everything in order, and who knows exactly what he wants and does it effortlessly. I want to give up.

I remember a story. When I was young, my mother gave me a big tub full of dress up clothes. I would play with all the odds and ends when my friends came over, and often with my sisters, and we had a good time with the dress up things. One day I found a very pretty piece of costume jewelry in the box. It was a bracelet made of golden leaves strung together. I decided it was lucky, though too big for my little wrist, and I wanted to wear it to a bowling alley as a charm.

My mother told me it was too effeminate. I was sad she thought so. I loved it and thought it looked great. I insisted and she let me wear it. I don't remember if I won or not but I was the most fabulous five-, or six-, or seven-year-old boy on the lanes that night. I felt incredible having worn something that was "too effeminate;" that had limitations on it.

It's not about winning at bowling. It's not about having enough money or time. It's not about looking the best compared to everyone else. Somehow, beat up by the world and sick and tired, I remember this story and realize that something made me wear that bracelet despite my mother's innocent disapproval. Something made me stuff socks in a bra and strut my shit in heels one night too (mom helped this time). I feel like there is something absolutely amazing in me. And I won't let it die even if sometimes I feel like the rest of me might.

I hope I did not depress anyone too much, but sometimes it is good to sit together in sadness. There's an incredible you in there and you should really put everything aside to draw it out is all I'm trying to say. And don't get me wrong, I don't want to be a woman or anything. In fact, I'm not sure I care enough to go all out and learn how to really do drag. All I'm saying is that I do want to do me and I am having a hard time creating that. I'm frustrated, especially that my self expression seems lacking, not to the world, but to myself. I go to bed at night wondering why I am sleeping. There is so much to be done.

SO HAPPY I COULD DIE AND IT'S ALRIGHT!!!

2010-11-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

I just finished going over all 33 sections of Cicero's First Catilinarian and I am actually looking forward to taking the midterm. I may not be able to make it to Greek Civ. today if for the mere fact that I may be seized by catharsis upon leaving Herter in just under two hours. Oh my Jesus...yeah, him again.

I am thinking about going into Noho early today, actually. When I do I usually get Reiki from Stephanie Thomas at Groundings or visit Acadia Herbals to stock up and chat with Jennifer. (I told y'all I would be plugging local businesses.) The trouble is, I have no money. I wonder if I can hit some people up on debts they owe. I would make a great loan shark if I had lots more dough.

Random thought...has anyone seen Kathy Griffin's new "Whores on Crutches" show? It's on Bravo. I Tivoed it (spelling?) and watched it twice so far. It is like medicine to my soul. Though seeing her live can not be matched. Still she looks great in the Cher-ish headdress.

Frozen Yogurt is so Good.

2010-11-04T18:17:00.000-07:00

There is this place in Downtown Northampton in which I am seated presently which offers delicious frozen yogurt with amazing toppings. It's real frozen yogurt, not weirdly flavored ice cream. The place is called GoBerry. I sit here often, eating fozen yogurt and working. Last time I was working on astrology charts, this time it's Latin. I'm just taking a moment now to sit here and ponder life and how difficult I can make it for myself sometimes.

I'm stopping right now to acknowledge that everything is OK. I have yogurt and I am almost done with my work. I am healthy and I know that I am loved. I pledge to myself that I will take more moments to remind myself of these things and shamelessly plug local businesses.

Ranting about Latin.

2010-11-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

First of all, here is my review schedule for the next three days. The materials is the entire Latin text of Cicero's First Catilinarian.

Today (Wednesday 11/3):
- Sections 1-10. Translate by sight and print out review guide.

Tonight:
- Look over 1-10 again. Translate and print out 11-15 and review.

Tomorrow:
- Sections 16-25.

Tomorrow Night:
- Look over 16-25 and do 26-33 and review.

Friday Morning:
- Review parts of speech presented in class. Get new Latin book/locate online source.

FML!!!

I am really tired of Latin and I think this is going to be my last semester. Mastery of a complete text in Latin should not be the required materials for a midterm. I know this isn't a grammar class, so I don't expect the professor to go over grammar. But that's what I am struggling with!! And why is there grammar on the test?! Aiai! See? It's leading me to exclaim in Greek...that's serious. Oh well. I tarry on.

Jesus...?!

2010-11-02T11:17:00.000-07:00

I was driving home on Sunday morning and I got to that place on the Mass Pike between civilization in Springfield and civilization in Worcester that you might call wilderness. At that place, the radio didn't have much to say and my tape adapter for the iPhone was broken as usual. (Those things have no durability!) I hit scan. This was, perhaps, the most dangerous decision I could make as fate has a funny way of telling you things through the radio especially when you hit scan.

Some random channel came on. It was a song. I estimated that it was a love song. And it was a nice one, too. I listened. It became apparent, by the time the chorus came around a second time, that this was a religious love song - a love song for JESUS! Oh boy, I thought, this is really retarded. No lie, I actually thought "retarded" in my head. I felt self conscious for listening. But it was, as I said before, a nice song.

The commercials came on. There was nothing particularly religious about them. And then the second song, which was also believably nice, was only secretly Jesus-freakish. But I barely noticed as I hummed along. I was somewhat entranced by this music and it reminded me of a past I have so diligently repressed. Then something else happened.

I realized that the feeling the songs triggered in my chest were not negative. In fact, if they were sad, it was only because I missed believing in a savior to take me away from grief and all the things I have lost in the world. These ideas were not inherently flawed. As the old memories formed themselves in my vision, I saw people in my mind that were part of my teenage years. This woman who was my spiritual teacher and guide, this friend who used to argue with me almost as much as she loved me about anything religious, and this boy that I lost contact with because he doesn't trust me or anyone anymore. Suddenly I felt angry, impassioned with a consuming, and not transforming, fire. I hated all those people. I hated them for asking me to go, for letting me go, and for pretending that I was gone altogether. I believed for a moment that I didn't exist for them at all anymore.

And in that moment, I felt comfort. I felt like it was OK to secretly talk to Jesus and not worry about what other people thought that meant. If the old friends I had didn't exist anymore I could approach him on my terms and ask him what he thought without imposing the influence of my religious past on his spiritual personage. And so I asked. I (really) asked Jesus, "What the fuck!?" in my head, "Why have I felt safe and secure in my magickal, mystical world without you and suddenly a retarded song makes me feel like I need something that I hate now?" I was not surprised that he answered. I'm a professional psychic and medium. I talk to spirits all the time. Jesus is a spirit, I thought, of course he'll answer. And he did.

He said, and I will try to remember exactly what I heard, "none of that matters now." And it didn't. I entered a space where nothing mattered, where my car drove itself, and I was alone with a divine being with more power to wield than any Angel I had ever seen, heard, or channeled before. Nothing mattered. So I started asking more questions. What about the Law? What about all the rules? What about religion, and churches, and synagogues, Rabbis, ministers, and priests? What about my job and my life and the Pagan ways I practice, the other gods I bow to, and the philosophies I have figured out? "None of that matters now. Stay here." So I did. I stayed in that space for a while. I stayed and just enjoyed nothing. The retarded songs were playing and the retarded voices singing enjoyed that moment with me. And I no longer felt retarded. I came face to face with a god and felt awesome.

I learned something in the moment that I had with Jesus in the car. I never experienced his presence before as one that was purely loving without some kind of condition. I never experienced emotionlessness that was so safe and honest and open. My religion didn't matter. My sexuality didn't matter. And nothing anyone said mattered. He didn't ask me to give anything up. He didn't tell me I had to break up with my boyfriend or go back to a gathering of people that hates who I am. He didn't even lead me to believe that the Bible is true!! When I asked, he said that didn't matter either. I realized, it really doesn't.

Now, looking back on all of this, I suppose some people will say that it was the devil. I suppose that's alright. There's nothing I can do about that. Some other people will think I am crazy and I'm a Christian now, or something like that. None of that is true, and I can't prove it, and it doesn't matter. But what I do feel is that I don't have to categorize Jesus as Messiah, God's Son, some dude from East Bumfuck (Nazareth), Israel. He came to me in purest form, as a healing and loving light that I could not keep out of any part of me. And I willingly surrendered myself, and even control of my vehicle to that.

I'm going to keep on doing what I do: boys, psychism, and all of it. That is what makes me who I am and God gave me all of it. But I am no longer worried about how that seems to others or even to God, gods, Goddess, Universe, Source, whatever!! None of that matters. I have in me this feeling that it's all alright. And all I have to do is believe that. I'm not a Christian, I still think those songs are a little retarded, but that's my Jesus experience. Just thought it might be interesting to share and I am sure my diverse collection of friends will have lots to share. So please do.

A new deck.

2010-10-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

This one of those stories that working people like. It tends to really get them going. They say things like, "oh, yeah, that," when they hear things like this.

What do you do for work? Is there a tool, some material, that you absolutely must have to do your job? It could be a shirt, a special name tag. More importantly, an actual tool, perhaps a wrench, or a notepad and pen. Like you, I have one thing that I really must have for my work. I can do my work without it but it wouldn't go over well with my bosses or my clientele. Can you see where this is going?

Essential Background:

My essential tool is a Tarot card deck. I can do readings without them. In fact I can do readings without anything. I am a psychic, after all. But most people come in looking specifically for Tarot card readings. To make my customers happy and comfortable, they are simply a *MUST.*

I have been reading with the same cards for quite a few months now. I haven't even messed around with other cards (except in a completely different style of reading in which playing cards are used as an aid to channeling) and I have developed a kind of pseudo-romantic and exclusive relationship with my original deck.

Finally, the story:

I showed up to work yesterday without my cards.

I told Bud, the very nice lady friend who works the register, and she just sort of looked at me like "what?!" and kind of had that lost eye look that means "I don't even know how to respond to this situation." Bud really is quite in control. I don't think I have ever seen her react irrationally to anything in all the time I have known her. Even in anger, I think she must be incredibly level-headed. She just didn't have answers for my problem. How could a psychic come to work without his cards? That's like a doctor showing up without a stethoscope. He could probably do a physical anyway but it just wouldn't be right without that iconic and vital weapon!

Not all was lost. I bought a new deck for the day and it ended up being a great one, one that I have wanted for a while but never really committed to. The day was saved, I did two awesome readings for a couple of great return customers. The Goddess has spoken, I need to detach from my deck and be psychically free. We are now in a happy, open relationship. Still, it is quite a funny story, and not just the funny kind of story you laugh at but the one that makes you think the World is maybe a little too senselessly cruel to us Fools.

Noelle, another woman who is a dear friend of mine, esteemed colleague, and quite nonchalant about readings and what is really "needed" to perform them, gave me the same look Bud did when I told her the story. I have struck at my own heel! My head is just fine though, thank you.

The Rose

2010-10-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

I have just begun studying the Zohar earnestly and I am learning so much. I have decided not to comment on what I am learning, though, and to instead describe the experience of scanning and reading the Zohar without adding my own opinions.

Dull green. Dull and dry. Sharp.
Fuzzy hairs on end, waiting.
Silence and intensity waiting.
Suddenly: Emanation.
A flash of scarlet - O Mother!

Light in the bloom and the Hundred Eyes
Thirteen Petals combust enraptured Sacred Heart
The speed and greed with which I consume
And not for self alone open the eyes of every one
I touch, I touch them with my eye
Lay the laser vision down in tracks of trains
Of thoughts that flee as darkness from the Light
Oy Rose, O Lily Sacred and Sublime
Oh Rose, O Lily Sacred and Sublime.

Old Poem...

2010-10-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

This poem is from November 2009. Let's all try to remember what was happening then...OK! A year ago I was sad and broken-hearted. Not surprising. I think I went through a lot of heartache the past couple of years. I think that's coming to a close though. And I think I like it. It's always good to look back. I was so clever then...

Today I began to feel Four of Swords
That my Two of Cups was rather Moon
The path was once all Eight of Cups
And now is anything but a vain attempt at the Chariot

The Chariot to reign over the Lovers
Not the Two of Cups but they
Put into their place by the power of Nine Pentacles
Taking my experience out of the realm of Six

Alas, here comes the Hanged Man
Teaching me to go with the Hermit
To be him in a land of Five Pentacles
Until I Six of Wands back here and claim my Two of Cups

Claim - What can man claim without Judgement
What will be easily won when I am the Devil
What World will be had without Temperance
But behold the Star and Patience and Four Pentacles, not Nine

Here I am, holding my peace, Knights come
Kings come and Queen be an Empress for me
Where once you held a Sword
Now hold a Pentacle and take me to your King

I am done playing the Magician
And maybe the Fool
For a while until the Sun Rises again
Through some Two of Pentacles ruse.

Going to pound one out right now!

2010-10-01T08:17:00.000-07:00

I am in the library...here is a poem I am writing in the Library right now just 'cause:

The girls at the coffee shop
Never make my large white mocha right
It has too much syrup
Not enough stirring
And if they really wanted to make me happy
They would be boys.

This is not "supposed" to be a sexist, make-me-a-sandwich type of poem. In some ways I suppose it does point out the strange reality that coffee shop people tend to be female in body or brain.

Writing again.

2010-09-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

Hello to the people who have read my blog in the past via Facebook or who have just seen this first post in the renaissance of my writing muse.

I began writing again recently when I was inspired by my younger (16) sister who composed a masterful essay out of nowhere and read it to me over the phone. She was very humble about the whole thing and she still seems completely unaware of her talent but I was very pleasantly surprised and even encouraged to begin working on my own composition skills.

It has been a long time since I have written anything creative that wasn't channeled or composed for the purpose of teaching or leading a spiritual service. It feels like I am walking again after being in space for six months or a year or however long one lives in space. The good thing is: I feel like my feet are on the ground again. Even the more unconventional elements of my style are rising as eager crocus flowers from the cold topsoil of my wintry life. And what ironic timing.

That said, I offer to all of you who have read, do read, and will read my work, a poem that I intend to be part of my next self-publication which I plan to make available via Avatarian Press (a new project) this winter. I wrote it during a solo dinner that was shared with the Spirit Passersby in a beautiful new cafe in downtown Northampton. I hope to release the new booklet there and I am waiting now to hear from a manager. Let's keep our fingers crossed, shall we?

Dinner alone is sad and true
A lonely candle seated opposite me
Flowers, surprisingly real (pink)
I'm on a date with a ghost

This man who slips through my hands
He is made of creamy silk aether
And another man here tonight
Is having dinner with a ghost

Perhaps he can incarnate mine
Perhaps I can realize his
I'll never know as he walks out
It's just me again and my ghost

I won't share my lemon water with him
And he probably doesn't like kale.

No name for that one yet, though I am experimenting with many elements new to my writing including namelessness, contractions, abominable punctuation, and awkward rhythms. I hope you enjoyed or at least have some interesting comment to leave that is harshly critical.

מתהו ובהו אור

2009-12-16T08:52:00.001-08:00

As I enter the darkness
Cloak me in your light
The mantle of discovery
Dripping with Wisdom

May Understanding guide me
As a lamp to my feet
Along the path of Chaos
Into the chasm of Void

The Dark Mother reigns
At the turning of the tide
The Light King she bears
Up onto his throne

Even in the ancient tomes
I see the light of day
Breaking o'er the barren Oak
Chastising frost and snow.

Spiritual Warfare and the Call to Arms

2009-12-09T17:58:00.000-08:00

Spiritual Warfare has always been an interesting topic to me. As many of my closer readers know, most spiritual things do interest me. I have worked with many different spiritual paths and experienced some intense things. I have also made some rather bold claims and even posted prophetic experiences and occult insights openly online. Here I go again.

Lately I have been working with a group of friends some of you may know of. I am not going to go into detail about them or their struggles right now but, suffice it to say, they have been directly and quite openly attacked by a malicious group of people through spiritual means. It would seem that the attacks have worked. Sicknesses and uneasy feelings abound and even those who find out about this trial and merely say that they would like to help are very suddenly subject to the effects of who knows what. Simply put, this is a curse. My work with these people begins, now, to extend into spiritual warfare on the defensive.

But what about in general? Spiritual warfare seems far from reality even to most New Age authors today. They write pages, even volumes, on how unlikely a real and effective spiritual attack is. Yet, it seems, even more reports exist in amateur circles regarding very real and contrary experiences. What is it they are experiencing?

You do not have to go far to find spiritual warfare websites lauding those who literally curse Occultists, Pagans, Witches, and New Agers in the name of their god. They claim that those who practice any form of alternative spirituality, sexuality, or lifestyle whatever are evil. They claim that the people involved in practices that they deem "un-Christian" are in the realm of Satan, and that they must be exorcised from the community, the country, and the world. Christian spiritual warriors are actively and openly throwing energetic bombs at most of the world and, occasionally, they hit a bullseye.

While it is not just Christians who curse in the name of some deity or practice "holy hate," it seems to center around Christianity. While other Christians might argue that this is not truly Christian behavior, it would not seem that many Christians, especially Evangelicals and other Fundamentalist types would heartily disagree. Just try typing "spiritual warfare" into any search box or YouTube. While some Christians might feel comfortable waving away any responsibility over their Christian brethren for this heinous act of spiritual violence, they will not actively stand against it. And really, who will?

Well I will, for one, and there are three steps which I can offer to anyone who would also like to stand against the concept of offensive spiritual warfare. The first step is to be outspoken about the practice. While the methods used in spiritual warfare - speaking in tongues, prayer, quoting scripture - are not inherently evil, what they are used or abused for is rather vile. They are also, I believe, effective. I do not think that the "supernatural" is really so above nature as the atheistic West makes it out to be. And I do think that most people in the world probably feel the same way.

The second step is to set up defenses around yourself which reflect the effects of offensive spiritual warfare. This is not a bid to take out Christianity or Christians in one fell swoop, it is an effort to reflect the actions of individuals back on them to, hopefully, make them understand the vanity of their deeds. If they do not, then it is their spiritual development they are harming. I would also like to point out that I do not believe in karma as a universal judge. I believe the Divine has given us free will for a reason and that there is no universal equilibrator acting in the lives of individuals or even in large organizations. So it is up to us to institute justice both through supporting a fair governmental system and reflecting negativity back on its senders. It is not getting there by itself!!

Third, there must be an active effort to dismantle the capabilities of those who practice offensive spiritual warfare. You can ground and center and shield all you want, but eventually the attacks of a zealot will wear those defenses down. You only have so much energy and I do not buy the idea that, because I can tap an infinite energy source, I can also bring infinite energy into manifestation. A human enemy on the spiritual battlefield must be spiritually disabled.

It could be that such a person will eventually disable himself with all the negativity (or even overpositivity) he channels. It is for this reason that a defensive spiritual warrior should use balanced techniques, embracing light and darkness equally. Casting a curse is too far in one direction and sending waves of love too far in another. This is a battle, not an extermination. I should also be clear that this process is not meant to harm anyone, but to completely shut off an offender from spiritual sources. At that point, who cares if he realizes his wrongdoing?! His spirit's nature, which is to evolve, will take over eventually anyway.

Now it does not make sense to do battles with a thought form. This would pour more energy into it anyway (thus the insane irony of Christians battling "Satan," whom they created and continue to feed through their warfare). The idea is to break the ability to project energy while not cutting a warrior off from his god. That's where it does become offense and not defense. At this point, different methods are required for different situations. Usually, a strong mirror will work.

Regardless, I would like to conclude by saying that, whenever a spiritual war is being fought, it is most often feuled by the misunderstanding of one side or another. In the hypothetical case of a Christian cult attacking the New Age Movement or Homosexuals, the misunderstanding is that their victims are the real attackers, that the New Agers and Gays are out to get them. This is, obviously, not the case. But for this reason it must be clear that a New Age spiritual warrior would never launch the first spiritual missile. And in defense he would usually only use teargas. It is a lie of the Christian faith that the servants and worshippers of other gods are actively anti-Christian. It must be made clear that our battles are not directed at Christianity, Christians, or Chrtist, or any other generality, but at those who would force us to accept their generality as gospel.

Thoughts?

Intent, Purpose, and Love

2009-11-29T19:57:00.000-08:00

Let's start with intent. What do I intend to do? Not much right now. I am the Hanged Man, rolling with the punches. Rather, I am hanging - low - waiting for someone to come and let me down. Way to suck at life. I used to be a Magician.

Purpose: the state of being useful to someone, somewhere. I suppose I fulfill this category inadvertently. I fulfill the purpose of being loved by my parents, siblings, and friends. But if I never existed I would not be longed for. I fulfill the purpose of taking up space in a University and "learning." But I have no idea what I will do with that learning because I have no intent governing it and so the learning itself ceases to be purposeful and is rendered carcinogenic. Awesome. I have intellectual cancer.

Love is just a game. I play Love to distract myself from the fact that I have no intent and that I am purposeless. Love is thrilling. It it full of disappointment and murderous glances. A "Schindler's List" type of movie in black and white. I can't stand to watch any longer but I just can't look away.

I could be pragmatic and try to make this all work, but if I started writing about how things are working out for me or about how awesome I feel, no one would read anything I write. So I look forward to this week's gamut of concerned comments and phone calls - mostly from people that also hate and masochistically enjoy love, have no purpose, and intend nothing. It is refreshing to know that some people are at least amused at how very truthful my realizations are - that there is nothing to live for. There never was and never will be. What we live for is invented; we make purpose for ourselves, feign love, and pretend to intend. It's OK. I'll deal.

For code lovers:

2009-11-23T20:27:00.000-08:00

Today I began to feel Four of Swords
That my Two of Cups was rather Moon
The path was once all Eight of Cups
And now is anything but a vain attempt at the Chariot

The Chariot to reign over the Lovers
Not the Two of Cups but they
Put into their place by the power of Nine Pentacles
Taking my experience out of the realm of Six

Alas, here comes the Hanged Man
Teaching me to go with the Hermit
To be him in a land of Five Pentacles
Until I Six of Wands back here and claim my Two of Cups

Claim - What can man claim without Judgement
What will be easily won when I am the Devil
What World will be had without Temperance
But behold the Star and Patience and Four Pentacles, not Nine

Here I am, holding my peace, Knights come
Kings come and Queen be an Empress for me
Where once you held a Sword
Now hold a Pentacle and take me to your King

I am done playing the Magician
And maybe the Fool
For a while until the Sun Rises again
Through some Two of Pentacles ruse.

תולדות

2009-11-22T13:38:00.000-08:00

(Toledot) - Generations, Story.

It is somewhat strange, but wonderfully appropriate, that this week's Torah portion deals with the issue of loosing and gaining the birthright and this week has been the beginning of my renewed interest in mine. It is also fitting that there are two sons of Isaac and that one of them has the technical birthright and squanders it, while the other, who is not entitled to the birthright by the letter of the law, receives it anyway. Ultimately, it is Jacob who is destined to be the spiritual father of the Jewish people, and not Esau. Why?

The portion does not assign any greater merit to Jacob, nor does it claim that Jacob's natural predilections are some how better than Esau's. They are both favored - Jacob by his mother, Esau by his father - for different skills which are both useful and honorable. The key difference is that Jacob wants the birthright while Esau does not see, at first, the true value of it. While Jacob, and Rebekah also, will go to any length to obtain the "innermost blessing," (Gen. 27:4) Esau gives it up for a meal. Esau implies that he is starving to death in the parshah (25:32), but the text actually says that he acted carelessly: "Thus did Esau spurn the birthright." (25:34)

It amazes me how many Jewish people are unaware of the richness of their culture, sometimes even harboring animosity toward Israel. This portion brings to mind all of the people I have known who spurned the birthright while at the same time telling me that it was not mine. I feel as, I think, Jacob probably felt when his brother cried bitterly (27:38) upon realizing what happened to his blessing. It was given to Jacob fair and square because Esau sold it cheaply. He relinquished his spiritual property to someone not technically appropriate for its upkeep but spiritually superior for his desire. As I get involved in Judaism again, and reclaim my birthright fair and square, I can still hear the voices from my past insisting that I am somehow not good enough to call myself a Jew for one reason or another. Ultimately, though, it is they who have spurned the birthright, and I who have bought it at relatively no cost to me. For a red bowl of soup, representing my passion for Judaism, I am continuing along the path that my ancestors have placed me on.

Later in the parshah (27:46), Rebekah becomes concerned that Jacob will marry a Hittite woman. Her concern reminds me of my mother's own decisions in raising me. She, like Rebekah, was not technically Jewish, but married herself to the Jewish people. She raised me identifying as a Jew which eventually led me to observance in Judaism and a profound love of Israel. As I return to all of that, I remember that she did not marry herself to Israel in order that I would then say so long at the first sign of jealousy (27:41) from the Esaus among our people. I should not, feeling resistance from certain members of the community, flee to the Hittites and suddenly become one of them.

I did that for a while, honestly, and I am not sorry for it. I learned a lot about other perspectives of the world and was spiritually edified by the experience. Now I seek to rectify the situation because the birthright is so important to me. It grows in importance daily.

I like to keep in mind that Jacob, after many trials and preparations, eventually seeks reconciliation with Esau. Eventually I and those who question my identity and faith will be able to embrace and acknowledge each other. But I can not give back what I have taken upon myself. In my heart and in my soul, I know that my mother intended to be a member of the Tribe and that she wanted her children to be the same. She did not know anything about the Mikvah or conversion classes at the time. And I am GLAD! Her experiences with Judaism were far more profound for it; a stunning realization at every turn of the Wheel of Life. Whether or not the letter of the law - the birthorder of Jacob and Esau or Esau and Jacob - describes me as a Jew, I have paid the price to be considered one and may I never let go of that.

Shavuah tov!

I feel...

2009-11-22T09:02:00.000-08:00

Some times I look at myself
In my mind as if in a mirror
And I am not pleased with what I see

I confront my flaws
And rub my skin against sand paper
Still I am not satisfied with my image

The point of an image
Is confidence, attraction
I am not brimming with confidence

There is something to be learned
From this physical Shell
I feel better than it and this is how:

When I look in the mirror, I see a flawed face
My hair does not exactly fit my image
I have nice clothes but not in enough colors
So everything doesn't always match perfectly

But in my eyes I find a different self
Beyond the images that I project
I feel whole to a height that flesh cannot reach
A head in the highest heaven and feet in the lowest hell.

Going Jewish?!

2009-11-20T19:35:00.000-08:00

So.

Long, long story short, my spiritual journey has brought me to yet another crossroads. I suddenly find myself dissatisfied with Pagan culture, religion, ethics, leadership, and just about everything about it. That's not to say I no longer see how it is a valid spiritual orientation, but I long for structure, real leadership, and a community that has maintained its identity for thousands of years in an unbroken tradition. I want my Mother Religion back! I want to go back to Judaism, where my first spiritual experiences were ignited. Where I found my first Rock.

Tonight I went to Hillel House for Shabbat services and dinner. I attended a Conservative service and I loved it! They even did most of the opening prayers with Carlebach melodies. So sweet. I felt like a member of the tribe for the first time in far too long. And, honestly, I did notice that there are a lot of cute Jewish boys in the world. Mhm.

I'm not sure where I am going with this post really, but a lot of my friends have been wondering what's going on with me, why I haven't been showing much at Pagan events and why my own group has basically disbanded. I'm going home. The visit was nice, though, and I thank everyone who was a part of it for that experience.

I want to make a few things clear. This is not a conversion process. While my "technical" conversion (my mother's status as a Jew is doubtful) may be a possibility in the future, I do not feel that one is necessary now. I was raised as a Jew, I have always identified as Jewish even if not religiously, and I am in my eyes and G-d's, a Jew. There, I even dashed out the "o."

That brings up another thing that I missed in Paganism. I can not worship a deity that is a "helper" or that is simply there to remind me of some abstract power or concept anymore. I need a G-d that can comfort me, shelter me, protect me, and elevate me in the world. I also need a G-d that I can worship and depend on. Judaism has that G-d...though I recognize that other religions may indirectly worship Him/Her/It as well. And the G-d of Judaism can also be the G-ddess - the Sacred Feminine is not lost - She shows up as the Sabbath Bride, as the Shekhina, and even as female deities which the Jewish "Monotheos" (dare I create a new word in my first semester of Greek?) has subsumed. My spirituality is not changing, my worship is instead intensifying, my paradigms coagulating after a long period of solvation.

I am very excited to see what happens next and I thank all of my friends for their support past, present, and future. As for my baffled family, I can only promise that I will always search the spiritualities of the Earth for Truth. Right now I am finding that in Judaism and I think this is where I will most likely stay.

שבת שלים על כלם

How to get to One.

2009-11-04T15:08:00.000-08:00

I was pondering on the concept of monotheism and wonder how Jewish mystics constantly arrive at the assumption that there is only one God. With all the dividing and categorizing Kabbalists do, it would seem logical that they would accept the existence of many gods.

I meditated, then, on the Etz Chaim, the Tree of Life, and how it represents the ten manifestations of God on four planes. The Tree of Life is the tool that Western Kabbalists use to justify polytheistic practice. They are most adept (cf. The Mystical Kabbalah) at applying a god from antiquity to each of the Sefirot. Why do Jewish Kabbalists not come to the same conclusions?

The Jewish mystics carry their insistance that God is One above their heads. That is to say, no matter how high their understanding carries them, even if it is beyond the assumption that the world is real, they still acknowledge only One Deity. That is not to say that they refuse to acknowledge Others, but they only believe in the existence of One unified Entity which encompasses all. They cannot name it or divide it and existance and the Kabbalah are the only tools by which they can allude to it. So it is as if they carry the assumption of Oneness up the Tree with them, never leaving it behind, always keeping it a step ahead of themselves.

The Kabbalists take it one step further. They clame that up beyond the Negative Veils of Existence, past which no mind can reach, dwells this ineffable G-d. And from their it dictates the decrees of the world. They even identify this Nothing-like Something, with the God of Israel. They do not stop and think that the God of Israel, we'll say Hashem, is just a piece of this Faceless Source, they insist that Hashem is the Oneness itself. Hashem is One, they pray, every morning and evening.

It is, I think, somewhat limiting to extend a deity (in this case the once Canaanitish YHWH), to such a status. Why is Hashem all the way up there? Then I think again. The Jews did what every culture has tried to do with their gods. They elevated their favorite one to an untouchable status that has governed the way all monotheists, and even most non-monotheistic persons, view their God. YHWH is not THE G-d, but Hashem, The Ineffable Name, the Oneness beyon Oneness beyond 0, is THE G-d. The Canaanitish YHWH has not been elevated to supremacy. The Jewish people have merely used his name to express the revelation of a Higher Source which they climbed to in the visions of ancient prophets.

Here is my last complaint, then. Why are we satisfied with the visions of ancient prophets? What prophet of Israel has put a cap on prophecy? Where in the Tanakh does it say, "Don't go looking for visions!"? It does not say any such thing. So then, as I turn my attention back to Kabbalah, and back to the origin of all my visions, I continue to ponder the mystery of Oneness. My next question: is the Source presently One or is G-d a distant and broken ideal which we know work to repair, maybe against the will of the Original Source?

Ra's eyes.

2009-11-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

We had the best music
The best dance moves
And the best of everything

My friends were always around
Yours too were always there
And we partied all the time

I got quiet
You got scared
I left

What happened to us
That made us like this
Hating each other and being distant

I want to touch the sun again
And hold the moon in my hands
Your eyes are Ra's eyes

I want to sing and dance again
And drink and smoke pot
Until we can't speak

Then we will make love
Like we used to do
And I'll be yours for good.

Learning Process

2009-10-30T21:02:00.000-07:00

Life is a learning process
I am learning lots of things
Let's examine:

School is not fun
Even if you love what you learn
You will not learn how to love

Boys are stupid
They think with the wrong head
But even that one never seems to be in the right place

I am impatient
I will never be satisfied waiting
And everything that satisfies me requires a wait

Depression is natural
Just because I am sad
Does not mean I have any reason to be

Nature is beautiful
No matter how gray the sky is
I will still be astounded by its grayness

Life is a learning process
When things start to look bleak
The gray sky is always above me.

Magickal Solutions for Depression

2009-10-26T17:33:00.000-07:00

Because so many people are trying to find non-medical ways to cope these days, I thought I would put in my two cents. I will, of course, give the standard disclaimer: I am not a doctor, certified herbalist, or psychologist. You should see those for the real scoop before you just take my word for it. I stand by these methods spiritually and I have checked them for me with my doctor...everyone is different.

Here is my regimen. It does not solve the core issues which are making me feel depressed (except maybe the chemical ones) but it does help me cope, lessen my anxiety, and deal with them.

Herbal - Every night I drink a mix of St. John's Wort and Chamomile tea. I use about 3 tablespoons of each and a pint of boiling water poured over the loose herb. I let it steep for five minutes. It is rather strong so I add lots of honey. The St. John's Wort is said to be antidepressant and it has shown to be as effective as chemical antidepressants in clinical trials. Some suggest this is a result of the placebo effect but St. John's works more often than placebo does in other trials as well. It is also supposed to help focus and that is something I definitely need. The chamomile helps me calm down and get some sleep. I think it is just really relaxing and gives me a break from the stress of my day.

Magickal - I carry two Jet stones with me when I'm feeling down. They absorb negative energy, especially that connected to negative feelings. I believe this helps me to not affect others I interact with throughout the day and it also helps me to ground. With one in each pocket, I am reminded as I go about my day that I have spiritual support in troubling times.

Meditative - Meditation is a proven stress reducer! Just close your eyes and breathe for five minutes whenever you need to distress. Before bed I like to do more involved meditations with the energetic centers of my body. Try looking up chakra meditations in books for more on this or read Israel Regardie's Middle Pillar.

The combination of these things has really helped me get along. This week has proven to be a tough one, but I am still standing strong.

My "I Have a Dream" speech...

2009-10-25T18:18:00.000-07:00

I look forward to living in a world in which religion is held to be mostly allegorical and solely spiritual. In a world where politics are engineered to serve the people and not the government. I hope that someday I live in a world where my children are not afraid to say that they have to fathers, in a world where I can live anywhere I want and feel safe.

In that world I will have a decent size house that I bought with my money and not loans with heaps of interest. I will have a car with astronomical mileage and mostly from electricity at that. In that world I will raise my children in a peaceful Middle East, a quiet Africa, or a free America. They will speak my language and the language of their school mates. In fact, in that world most people will speak multiple languages simply for their desire to communicate and not only because they feel they need to.

Some world that would be, a world where Christians, Jews, Muslims, Pagans, Hindus, and Buddhists can all live side by side and even share their traditions without fear of persecution or prejudice. Israelis and Palestinians will live in their respective states and share in trade and tourism. The peoples of Africa will restore their respective cultures. The indigenous peoples of all places will resurrect their heritages. No man will feel the need to dominate another and no woman will be threatened by rape or slavery or sexism.

Is it possible? I pray every day that it is. And I vow to work toward that peace by being less argumentative, less confrontational, and more understanding, accepting, and conversational. How do you envision world peace and what are you going to change or continue doing to help accomplish that vision?

Smoke Signals

2009-10-24T22:04:00.000-07:00

How did we get here
My feet on the cold floor
It feels empty and dirty
Tiles without souls

Will we ever go back
To stone or wood
To the things that made us feel at home

I would settle
For a brick house and for a kitchen with a sink and a stove

A little room with a bed in it where we both could live and I won't ask for more.

The man in the sheets.

2009-10-19T21:57:00.001-07:00

One night there was a man in the sheets
He left blood and water and silicon there
He wove it into the fibers of the sheets
So he could be smelled still sleeping in them

The man died soon afterward
Leaving all those fluids in the sheets
The fabric reeked of him
As if he was alive in the cotton

Dead man leave my sheets
Get out of the fibers of my bed
I don't want to smell you while I sleep
Or remember you where you lie now

I hate you for weaving into me
Everything you left behind
Threatening to explode like alien mines
Implanted to kill me later

Take your blood and water back
Take your silicon too
Peel it all off of my sheets
And take it with you to hell

Is that where you will go
When you are done sullying sheets
To a place of Fire to burn
Or of Ice to be frozen in memory.

Ode to the Four Gods.

2009-10-15T20:34:00.000-07:00

Oh Diana Weeping Mother
There you're stepping on the world
Crushing out the serpent in us
Queen enthroned and crowned with stars

Lucifer the lover brother
Father liberate us all
Falling star make our love real and
Pour our lust on on the Earth

Aradia the Craft Messiah
Free us from our torturers
Equal rights for all Creation
We live on Your only Earth

Cernunnos reveal our darkness
Lord of Death say nothing now
In your muteness we find solace
Make them hear our sacred vow:

Eko eko azarak
Eko eko zomelak
Eko eko Karnayna
Eko eko Aradia.

)0(

I've been feeling rather upset with the world lately. They just don't seem to see the point! We aren't asking politely anymore for all the freedoms we deserve. We are demanding them, and soon with Spirit Fire. We will not back down and our strength cannot die. I have seen men do great things and women speak of prophecy but never has one great deed or word come true without divine aid. And now it comes direct from the mouths of the gods - ask any of them yourself and they will answer - that their children must be free.

The spirit world, starving and unfed, is replete with the corpses of our dead children sent away to fight a senseless cause. What freedom is there in this? That we are living and all our sons are dead? They are free, liberated, and we are left behind. Let us throw ourselves upon our own swords if we do not realize our crime. We have killed our children and starved them preaching no feeding of the dead, no honor for them. And they cry out from the grave.

Can you hear your sons and daughters crying out from the Earth? Their blood soaks the ground. Can you hear the tears and grime of their final sacrifice splash as offerings on the face of Ge, Earth Mother, Aradia, Savioress? She will withdraw her sustenance from the world, nation by nation, until they all turn to the Spirit Realm again. For those of you who hear and respond, "Hineni, lo beni - behold me, not my son!" fear nothing. For the sweet Earth may swallow you and you will suffer nothing and profit all. But the dead who honored not the dead in life will suffer and be vomitted up out of her like rejected seed from the womb of the aborter.

Just some thoughts from the Void and a moment of Inspiration - Tohu vaVohu Olam haZeh!

Prophecy in the New Age?

2009-10-12T17:13:00.000-07:00

I am done with my Reiki 1 training and I am so very happy. I think it was a great experience and that the skills I learned this weekend will be very useful in getting through this weekend's homework which I have yet to begin...

I'm even more interested though in discussing a topic which I believe is going to become much more widely accepted as relevant and even spiritually vital in these "trying" times: prophecy. I am part of a religion which I, in part, founded and which is a spin off of that very word so it is something I have a very intimate relationship with. It is not, however, something I have expressed a lot about.

OK, disclaimer. What I am going to talk about here is an oversimplification of a vastly complicated spiritual process which is just (after four generations of development) beginning to unfold. More detailed explanations of what I say here should be available this winter in booklet form for around $10...much like last year's publication. Of course, I should probably explain why I am making this public information via Blogger and Facebook and the answer is simple. Prophetic work is not done for prophets, it's done for people. This stuff should be known by all who care to hear.

I am not a prophet. It is not my intention to disseminate such a claim. I was raised by a very wise mother though who taught me certain subtle precepts by which I govern my spiritual life. Expanding upon those, I have been capable of knowing some things about some things and relaying them to a few individuals who care. It has always been a core of my teaching (if you really want to call it that) that anyone is capable of the same but that they must be opened up to it. The process is not vastly complicated but it does take a while. I also believe that "'prophesy" or psychic messaging or communication with the gods is not necessarily focused on the future. In fact, the best prophecies are messages of consolation and affirmation and do not concern future events. True prophecy is a glimpse of the Workings of the Chariot, a Kabbalistic catch phrase for the Powers that Be in the Universe. Those Workings are occurring all the time, not just in the future.

Enough terminology. The point! A lot of people are talking these days about what mankind faces. There are wars and rumors of wars and everyone wants to predict the next date for the end of the world. I am tired of 2012!!! Aha, the end, according to my...calculations is not at hand and we needn't worry. I am not here (Earth) to stir up excitement. But what we must realize is that the end times have been predicted since forever. There has never been a time in human history where men both foolish and wise have looked into tomorrow and declared that the end is, indeed, at hand. It never has been and is not now. It will not be until our civilization is just about forgotten like the Hittites.

What is happening is even more interesting but, for some, harder to believe. We are not being launched into a Utopian or messianic age in which the whole world will align and know peace. Sorry pot-smoking hippies and high flying optimists, it's not quite that simple. But the human race is evolving spiritually in two directions.

First, the human race is secularizing. As science brings us commoners up to speed with all the amazing discoveries of the past century, it is also enhancing our education system and teaching our children to be less believing than their parents. This is a good thing. Children who simply accept that what their parents believe is true will ultimately be more subject to the ignorance that causes spiritual violence and hatred. Still, some children are even more believing than their parents. In the opposite direction, the gods are exerting an unparalleled force which is awakening the youngest and oldest to the bright promise of a powerfully prophetic future, one where everyone delivers fundamental truth and at the same time recognizes the same truth in the deliveries of others.

The significance of these two progressions in human evolution is obvious. There is to be a major shift in world consciousness and, as the Indigo Children create and recreate religion, this will lead to more openness and, hopefully, peace. But this also means a lot of growing pain for the already dominant world religions! Christianity is facing a kind of spiritual septic infection for the next 100 years which, I believe, will end in the collapse of the Roman Catholic Church and most other major Christian organizations in the world. This infection will have the following symtpoms: hidden materialism, manipulation of popular trends for increased conversion rates, and eventually an exponential rise in Christian extremist violence. Indigenous religion will crop up in the nations that tried to stamp it out at its source. Vodou will be popularized in Christian Europe and America. Yezidi culture will see more attention in Arab nations, and Israel will be shocked as the children of that nation turn to the Canaanite Paganism that preceded all monotheism. Missionaries will be forced to withdraw from third world countries where spiritual revivals in the indigenous religions will become violent at times. Some countries may even officially advise missionaries to stay home and rightly so.

The problem that is being directly addressed through divine intervention here is clear. The monotheisms fail to suit the rapidly growing spiritual needs of an evolving people. Catholics will no longer be able to look to the Pope for hope when the Goddesses of their respective nations come back to life! Mary may still be the most revered Catholic person because she will speak directly to the people as the Mother Goddess she was and is. No more intervening priests and many more priestesses. Protestants will start to realize that the New Testament is a political document and not the word of god, and they will return to more mystical scriptures to find the true Jesus, a powerful healer and champion of peace who will turn the Christian nations away from the war they have brought the world for 2,000 years. He will also make peace with the Pagan gods and Christians will even begin to worship them alongside Christ as they did before it was made illegal in Rome. Jews will treat Jewish law as a mystical analogy for holy living and they will be more accepting of others than ever before. They will not all forsake the commandments they hold dear, only change there perspectives. Female Orthodox Rabbis will not be uncommon nor openly gay Rabbis in the more conservative branches of the religion. Even the State of Israel will see a shift of power. More Palestinians, secularists, women, and openly gay people will rise to political prominance there. Finally the "thorn" in Israel's metaphorical side will see an educational revolution and hope for peace will again be real. However, the conflict does not appear to end in my lifetime... Regardless, Muslims will seek to propagate peace and end violence more actively than before and the futility of war will be apparent even to Arab leaders in the Middle East. The final outcome of all this religious revolution will be the fragmentation of monotheism and a change in perspective regarding scripture even among the previously fundamentalist - that it is allegorical and not historical.

The most recent generation (my parents and their peers) will see the beginning of this revolution and die much more peacefully than they expect to now. The generation before them (my grandparents and their peers) will try to hold onto their onservative ideals and some will die in anguish, watching the world they love collapse. Those that accept this change and even embrace it will live longer into the revolution and die in peace also.

So...I'm done with my prophetic rant. This is a brief summary of the information I have gathered from my psychic insights over the past three years and through the spiritual techniques of my faith. The hard part now is expressing this without seeming crazy. But look at the world and tell me it isn't so!! I have been waiting a long time to get this all out and it's time. Look for postings about the book in November or December and contact me with questions or comments of any kind.

One more day, a little more joy.

2009-10-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

So there is only one day left of Reiki 1 training and I am very excited. It turned out that Reiki actually exceeded my expectations as the training went on and I am most satisfied. I think my dismal emotions were drudged up by the initial training and then the experiences that followed really rearranged my perspective and healed some past woes. I feel better now but I am also aware that this is not the end and I am bracing myself for the slump...

There's always a slump after a really great weekend of great spiritual altitudes! And I've been high in many ways this weekend - all naturally of course. I was able to visit my family camping in CT, I met new people and became part of their Reiki healing experience, and my Coven made leaps and bounds in training this evening. I have a lot to be happy about and the perpetual sadness that I expressed in my last post has been numbed this weekend.

I don't think it is gone. I think I will struggle with it more in the future but now it is a struggle I know I can overcome and now I even know how to fight even if I don't know exactly what I am fighting or why. I am very grateful for this experience and the offerings I bring to the gods will be multiplied and more frequently offered.

I could go on and on for ages and pages about how I feel right now but it wouldn't make it any easier to understand on the receiving end. Spiritual expansion must be experienced, it can't be learned. So I just encourage anyone reading to move forward on his or her own spiritual path and not try to duplicate mine or anyone elses.

Wanting and Waiting

2009-10-09T20:34:00.001-07:00

Tonight I took the first of four initiations included in the Usui Shiki Ryoho system of Reiki 1. This is the old school stuff. You don't just become a master in a weekend and flash certificates at people. While that may be valid to some, I was led here. So I would like to share some of my experiences as I go through this four-day process of becoming a basic level Reiki practitioner.

I have received Reiki a few times before and have been very impressed with its success in both a physical and spiritual way. It has taken away minor pains and helped me feel better emotionally and more in touch spiritually. I knew that I would take Reiki one day, it just never worked out. Recently a friend of my boyfriend's introduced me to his Reiki Master and I felt very comfortable with her. Tonight we began the process after having worked out the details of the class for a few weeks.

The initiation was simple and I shan't divulge the details. I didn't feel much during it but that's how initiations usually go... Afterward I and the other newly initiated practitioners laid down and began to practice our first self treatments. At first nothing happened. Then the place where my hands were got really hot. Soon I could feel the heat in my hands in other positions. But I didn't have any intimate experiences with the energy itself. As I was not directing it (Reiki directs itself) I only observed certain energetic subtleties psychically and relaxed. I soon fell into a trance and bobbed in and out of that as the self treatment went on.

So the experience was pretty run of the mill for beginning a new system of energy healing. It doesn't feel the same as the healing I do in N'vuah or with other Kabbalistic techniques but I'm sure it will grow on me with time. The thing I really noticed though, is that the attunement dug up some emotions in me that were different from what the others experienced. They felt bliss, empowerment, joy, and ecstasy. They were all so energetic afterward. But I felt rather dismal. I felt tired and pessimistic about moving forward. I fell back into the same feelings I had earlier this week and even into a somewhat depressed mood.

I don't think Reiki did this to me so much as it released some repressed baggage. It brought me back to the fact that I don't know where these feelings came from or what to do with them. I feel like the spiritual experiences I had when I was a kid were so transformative and powerful and now I feel like I have to strive to experience a fraction of their energies.

I'm not a hopeless romantic anymore or a "New Ager" in the sense that the term is used now. I don't believe in revolutionary fix-alls or spiritual elixirs that will sweep away humanty's ills. Our shit is bad shit and it is going to take a pragmatic, serious, and dedicated approach to heal all of it. I give it a hundred years before the governments of the world even realize what the shit really is! So maybe that is where I have lost some power. Even when I get in a good mood and optimistically strive forward, I'm just reminded that it doesn't really work that way and that even spirituality is pragmatic, serious, and requiring of dedication.

So now as I wait even longer to see my man ( ;p ) than I would ever like to wait again, and as I anxiously peer around the corner of the weekend at what Reiki may bring my way, I can't help but believe that really this turning point is just another small step. It will be somewhat like the others and it will be temporary. It's up to me to keep going with the new energies I am opened to and to perfect my interactions with the ones I already know. OK, I am good with that.

But what about my happiness? I'm not sure what that is or how to get there and no religion or spiritual system has yet been able to show me that and really convince me that it even is at all. I'm happy when I'm in the middle of a grandiose ritual or warming my cold traveler's feet in the lap of the Goddess, but what about me - just me. When am I happy just by myself. And is that the point? That happiness is a self thing? Or is it really that happiness comes from being with others, even if that means overlooking their most annoying faults?

I miss the people I used to find so much joy with. I hardly see my parents anymore and my sisters are just as distant. When I do see them, I realize we have all aged a lot internally and that life isn't careless and free anymore. We aren't kids anymore. I miss not having to worry about whether or not what I am doing is right. I miss being guided in every step by a fatherly voice and motherly hand. I find it sad that I don't feel these things and that when I think about who I am I realize that the world does not see me as acceptable. I miss talking to trees and hearing them talk back and going on adventures with my sisters in which only we could see the bad guys. Now the bad guys are real and we deal with them constantly. They have been seeded in us and we sometimes become them. Nothing is simple anymore.

I once told my mother, in trying to explain why I think "god" lets so many bad things happen to really great people, that to become a healer you have to be broken. I'm broken now and I can heal, but everyone benefits from that healing except me and I am not sure how to fix me now that I am broken. While I think Reiki is great, it is a brief aside from my normal spiritual studies and I think it will end up sending me back to them. Maybe continuing along that path I can recapture the lost sparks that I once had. Or maybe the sparks have turned to shards and I have forgotten love in the storms of Tribulation.

Back to School Ecstatic

2009-09-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

So after moving in and blasting Lady Gaga for two days, I am satisfied with the atmosphere in my room. While there are a few Feng Shui kinks I think need working out, we (Ben and I) are hardly lacking good chi. I am so excited for the new year and all the interesting classes I will have.

Last night was the Full Moon and it certainly was a full day. The Avatarian Coven met at 4, the Full Moon Temple at Inspirit Common met at 6, and Drum and Dance was at 8:30. So much to do! I really feel that this stellarium of Pagan enthusiasm has charged the year and given me enough energy to not only blow through the first helping of my school money but also find a job and earn some back.

I wish everyone the best at the opening of the new school year.

Hello happiness.

2009-08-30T17:48:00.000-07:00

Hello happiness
Long lost friend
Old uncle gone away since my childhood

You are welcome here
Without reluctance
Old moth come in to soak beneath my lamp

So long you've been gone
I don't remember you
Prideful glistening member on a man

Happiness elusive
Never leave again
Stay forever in my twinned lovers' heart.

Nunc est bibendum.

2009-08-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

Cody looked at the gray wall in front of him much unlike the characters in the other books. Nothing, absolutely nothing was happening in his story. He pondered the wall and its cracks. Each of them was more ambiguous than the next, they ran into each other often, and they were mostly of no interest to him at all except occasionally to get off.

The wall was concrete, an art that, since the Romans, had still not been perfected. Like all male brothels. The floor was of the same material. So was the ceiling. Nothing was behind Cody and, it seemed, nothing was ahead of him either. But, oblivious to Cause, Cody followed it forward - at least what he assumed was forward.

A few paces or days later, Cody happened upon a doorway to his right. Oh, it was simple enough. It was a hole in a wall. It was a sailor in a uniform. Blase. White, white, white, everything so fucking white. Why is everything in the world so white? Cody found in the room a canister of black paint and a paint brush. It occurred to him, naturally, that he had brought it here. He applied a few strokes to no avail and got bored. He left on August the First.

A pace or so down the hall, which could have just as easily been up the hall, Cody found another room. It didn't really have walls and so, by winter, Cody evacuated the premises. It was getting cold. The air was rushing and two twin voices kept screaming in his head. Cody, concerned, had no choice. Do not blame him, room with no walls. Get some fucking walls instead.

Then Cody found a room he was over all too quickly. They could have been in love but Cody thought he saw bricks ahead and so he was very much ready to move on straight away. Still, in the room gotten over all too quickly, Cody lost his paint brush. Temptation gone, he moved along. Twice, in fact. He moved along twice. The second time he was not really sure how he got there.

Then, as if the heavens had opened up, Cody found a beautifully ornate room. It had columns and arches for doors and gold leaf encrusted walls. Murals of myths from every age decked the walls and tables set with cheese, grapes, and wine lined the many aisles of this lavish dining space. Is the world this beautiful? thought Cody. It used to be so gray. He stayed here a while and then the room suddenly disappeared and he cursed and cursed and cursed until he decided, hey fuck it. The world really is gray. The world really is a terrible place to live. Woe is me, woe is the world, woe to the Kings of Edom that have sinned against the Princes of God, woah is that a man?

A man appeared before him in the gray hall but he did not seem like a room. The gray seemed to bleed off the walls from the light of the man's glistening pecks. Black lace rolled off his back and danced as ink off a Sanskritter's pen across the never lined paper of walls that existed so eloquently now that he looked at them for the first time. What is gray? thought Cody. Did gray ever exist? And then he could not even recall the word g... He looked at the man's face and locks of brown, earthen, chocolate covered almond hair that danced around his temples to the Great God Apollo and his lover Hyakinthos. The face and jaw of Adonis and Rodrigo Guirao Diaz gleamed brighter than the midday sun and the pecks. Two feet or so below, the most beautiful ithyphallus spouted love seed unbloomed but waiting.

The Sanskrit of the walls sang Om Gam Ganapatayei Namahah. Nothing stood in the way.

Cody knealt down and lapped up the morning glory seeds that appeared as an island in the milky sea at his feet. He hadn't seen the sea for a thousand years like the West Baray of Angkor. The flowry acid penetrated his mind and he could speak to the god. Hello, Jesse.

Gay culture...WTF!

2009-08-09T18:13:00.000-07:00

So. What's with gay culture? It's all fun and games until...everyone realizes they don't fit in. I feel like we're all trying really hard to be this thing but none of us are this thing and we can never be this thing and we probably still wouldn't be happy if we were.

Maybe I am just cynical because things haven't been working out for a little while. At least, with relationships. Otherwise I am doing really well. With my education, with my spirituality I am flourishing. But no matter how hard I try or how well I wield my will in the world, landing the perfect relationship seems impossible. I keep seeing flaws and feeling flaws that may or may not be there and then I feel guilty because I'm not sure if this is even a big deal and a bunch of people I care about are going to read it and be concerned. LOL!

Now I just want some affection: someone to hold me and pet my head and say, "everything is OK, you're beautiful." I want someone to interrupt his life for me like I interrupt my daily life for every relationship I am ever involved in. I want him to call me every day without being annoying. I want to see him every other day without feeling smothered. I want him to have flaws that attract me instead of faults that repel me. I want all these things but really I just want to believe that love is possible...again.

I know what love is - mission accomplished with that one/I'm still bruised - now I just want it to happen. With all the misery it comes with, I want that dream man with a strong mind and almost as meaty muscles to pick me up off my ass and well...yeah. There it is again. That gay culture. Do I really want that or am I supposed to want that? Do I find hunks (usually straight ones) attractive because they are or because the impossibility of success with them turns me on?

I can't wait for school to start and I have been looking to that as a beacon, a guiding light. Now, as I get closer to it, the light is dimming. I'm not going back to much, I'm going back to a place where I know a few people, have some things to do, and in two years I'm leaving.

But enough grumbling. As a Witch I know I can change all this if I only find the right formula for my Magnum Opus. I am going to start listing the things I want and pursuing them ruthlessly. You, my lucky readers, get to follow my journey. Please pray that I do alright. I'm not good at being ruthless.

Wish List One:
- Take my next encounter with a love interest much more slowly. This means: we will not go past kissing on the first date.
- Reestablish my daily magickal practice. I will do something involving the Spirit World every day.
- Find a job at school.
- Read three more books before summer ends.
- Care less what people think of me (go to the teen dance at the campground this week and dance the WHOLE TIME.)

I'll report my success...

Angry about Christianity. Please feel free to respond.

2009-08-02T18:58:00.000-07:00

Breif Disclaimer: OK. So this is going to be one of those angry rants but I am going to try and be logical and intellectual and loving. I may even wax prophetic for a moment. I would also like to point out that what I am about to say is actually somewhat out of line with the teachings of my religious tradition and that these opinions are in no way related to my religious affiliation.

Since the inception of Christianity in 300 CE, the faith has spread violence and turmoil throughout the world. First the Christians killed everyone who did not accept their version of the Bible, then everyone who did not subscribe to their faith to begin with, and now they are still polluting global culture and destroying perfectly workable tribal systems in a final effort toward global dominance. Africa is their last frontier as Christianity has powerfully permeated every corner of the globe on every continent. Not even the Penguins in Antarctica should consider themselves safe.

Now I do realize that there are a few somewhat valid arguments against, or rather distracting from, this idea. One says that Christianity has also done a lot of good. I will tackle that idea first. I would like to point out the plight of every native nation that has survived the scourge of Christianity. There are only a few. Most of them are in the Americas because they were the most recent, and therefore most not-yet-entirely-distinct victims. The natives remember the harsh treatment they received from the Spanish (the beginning of a long Trail of Tears) when they made it clear they were not interested in Jesus - burnings, torture, rape, and worst of all, forced conversion: the rape of the soul. The Christians in that situation wanted to do good just as all Christian missionaries think they are doing. Ultimately, every mission spreads only disease, cultural collapse, dependence on Western aid, and eventually brutal force. Just ask the children in Africa who are brutally beaten and tortured by their own communities that are told by pastors from the West that there is a spirit of Witchcraft on their children. The African people do not understand the brash Western gospel. They see Jesus as a healing spirit coming with drugs and cures from Europe and America. Little do they know, the Jesus spirit brings torment and torture for body and soul alike.

Another argument is that true Christians would never do such things. This argument is not only outrageously deceptive, it is based on false pretenses. First of all, the people who usually say that are doing it by allowing it to happen. "True Christians" often give their money to churches and missions which then support the kind of abuse explained above. True Christians not only do the torture, they finance it. The deception comes in when you realize that the definition of "True Christian" is "believer in Christ." It is revealed when you understand Christian theology, and that the fear and immediate necessity for action it imposes on Christians not only provides motive and justification but demand for a force push of Christianity throughout the world. Even the True Christians who cry foul play when their religion is asked to take responsibility for its clumsiness abroad, constantly write the checks for the annihilation of whole cultures, languages, environments, religions, and ultimately peoples.

I would like show True Christians the history of their faith and the reports of what their hasty shove across Africa has caused and then turn them to the Bible. The Bible will set them strait and show them the true values of a really true Christian. Unfortunately, that is not true either. The Bible calls, on numerous occasions, for genocide. In fact, it calls for the genocide of every historical Middle Eastern people except the Jews, who were actually foreigners to begin with anyway. It doesn't stop there. The Bible also calls for the destruction of all their descendants who, it is no surprise, are living among today's Arab and Muslim populations. This should shed some new light on the actions of Christian and Jewish extremists. Considering this, it seems no one involved in any conflict in the world at this time is in the Right. Of course there are the Tibetans who peacefully endure exile and the Darfurians who are helplessly slaughtered after the US and its True Christian leaders abandoned them. There are hundreds more, even the natives in "our" own lands who are still raped and pillaged by their Federally appointed Christian guardians.

Now I am not ignoring the terrors of Militant Islam (which is the most absurd oxymoron of our millenium) not of any other religious group that has taken up arms. But who has done more harm than the Christian? My conclusion is simple. There is nothing good about Christianity. I understand that millions of people get the warm fuzzies from church and from seizures of the Holy Spirit but any religion can give them those in a heartbeat and many do. Christianity gives them the shakes and then takes a blood offering from innocents in return. I used to believe that there were good Christians in the world and that Christianity is just another religion with its own problems. Now, I must admit, I believe in the conspiracy theory. Christianity is an intentionally constructed global vice. It is easily manipulated for political and financial gain and for the destruction of any undesirable presence on Earth, human or otherwise. I do believe that their are followers of Christ who are good but the only followers of Christ I deem worthy of the simple word ("good") are those that denounce their namesake organization.

I do not believe in initiating violence but I do believe in calling for an end to the madness. The Christian church (here comes the prophetic) is doomed to a long overdo collapse. Any day now the system will fall apart, new prophets will appear, Christianity will divide into cults, and the missions will be obliterated. I do not call for violence - let me make that clear - but I do believe that we can accelerate the collapse. STOP putting your time and resources into organizations tied to or supportive of Christian missions work. I do not care how positive it looks, it isn't. It's time to end the madness. Speak up against the real Beast and say enough.

Breaking the Axis

2009-08-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

I have always liked the image of different aspects of our life portrayed as spheres orbiting a central axis. The central axis is the Soul, the Godself, or whatever else people call the Core of their Being. Within each of the individual spheres - resonating with Kabblistic philosophy here - there is another, miniature axis. This axis has other spheres which swing about it and represent the individual occurrences that define their large sphere. One particular large sphere that deserves attention in my life is that of relationships.

Today is August the First. It is on this day, two years ago, that I ended my first meaningful relationship. I cut it off in the spirit of Lughnassadh, the holiday that is observed, on the Solar Calendar, today. Soon after that, I began another relationship which ended in the winter followed by a spring of folly. This cycle repeated itself. The next year, a relationship ended around this harvest time and another began after the passing of this historically sacrificial day. Again, that relationship ended in the winter. The spring was again a meaningless string of failures.

Today, Lughnassadh on the Gregorian Calendar, I am tired of the cycle. I don't want it to govern my life anymore and I don't want this self-imposed failure to be my burden. Whatever is right will happen, I am sure. But I do not want to see whatever that is as a manditory and automatic rite of passage. I want to see it as my choice, my Will. Today I light a Block Breaker candle and pray the Pagan Rosary in the hope that this cycle, and its residual affects, can be shattered. The axis, broken, may it fall away into Void.

I call my suffering, regrets, and jilted apologies, back to me for reintegration. It is time to rise above and work my Craft.

A Brief Moment of Profundity

2009-07-31T20:15:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling off track lately but I've been working hard to find the track so I can get back on it. Today I prayed a lot and then talked with my Guardian Angel. All of this happened within one minute. I just have to share:

He showed me an Ankh and said "Eternal Life." I told him this was a great comfort because it means that the mistakes we make in one life are small in the grand scheme of things. He told me that any wrong recognized is not wrong, but right, because something was learned. "This is the true nature of forgiveness." The concept of forgiveness is something I have struggled with a lot. I feel this puts me at ease and helps me to lead a guiltless life.

Now this does not mean I can shirk any responsibility. It merely encourages me to be aware of my actions. I told my Guardian that sometimes I do not know what is right to do. He said, "Recognizing this is...the greatest forgiveness."

These are just some thoughts that really struck me. I hope they guide whoever finds them.

The Space Between

2009-07-21T11:51:00.001-07:00

I am reading Diane Stein's "Essential Psychic Healing." I believe it is a fantastic guide and an eye opening treatise for even the most experienced healer. It embraces Goddess energy completely and reveals the root of human suffering - separation from that void which is the space between the parcels of our physical existence. What is most interesting to me is the change in consciousness I experience just from reading about healing. It is especially evident in this book which acts as a kind of printed meditation. I believe, from this experience, that healing begins when healing thought begins.

This should make sense logically except that it defies logic. Still the very logical Kabbalistic philosophy of Binah and Chokhmah Consciousness sheds some light on this phenomena. In Binah Consciousness, which roughly translates to Understanding, the mind is occupied by verbal thought - words, symbols, tangible information. In Chokhmah, roughly Wisdom, the mind is occupied by intangible, nonverbal thought which has no ellucidation. It is the pure energy of thought without structure, organization, or restriction. In Kabbalah, the Initiate meditates to swing his personal pendulum of consciousness between the two.

There is a place between the two extremes which balances and coordinates these two energies. It is the invisible child of Chokhmah and Binah. It is called Daat and it is a point of contention for many Kabblists even to the point that some deny its existance. For me, it represents the ideal state of mind of the Initiate which is exactly centered between the two polarities of consciousness. In this place of centeredness, the ineffable and sublime energy of nonverbal thought and raw meaning collides with verbal thought and inherently meaningless form. There, form is given meaning and meaning form and that energy, which I will here call pure thought-power, can be channeled to any spiritual center for any purpose. (Kabbalists use a beautiful phrase to encourage this state: "Understand with wisdom and be wise with understanding."

Books like "Essential Psychic Healing" allow the mind to swing between the extremes of consciousness by alternating between mystical, deep examinations of the Spirit Realm and practical, even scientific exposees of spiritual technology. These two components, collided in sample exercises and meditations, yield power and healing. There are other books like this one from such authors as Aleister Crowley, Daniel Matt, and Aryeh Kaplan. The latter actually threw me into a deep trance when I finished the first chapter of his commentary on Sefer Yetzirah. I hope to write a book that accomplishes the same some day, but one can only hope and swing.

For those who are interested in what I write, I will provide an exercise here for swinging. Please learn a grounding technique to use before and after this meditation before you try it out. Be gentle with your spirit as you would with your body:

1. Ground.
2. Since most people are usually in superficial and meaningless Binah consciousness all the time, we will begin by swinging toward Chokhmah. In a comfortable position, close your eyes. Try to perceive the inside of the back of your head. Allow your eyes to ever so subtly turn up and in toward your Third Eye. Imagine blackness, deepest blackness, and then blackness so black that it seems to raidate negative light. By training your mind to imagine these impossibilities successively, it is quieted and pure thought breaks through.
3. You may experience a moment of void. When you do, you will most likely immediately return to normal consciousness. This is normal, healthy, and safe. As you continue using this meditation, the time you spend in Chokhmah will increase.
4. Now take advantage of the momentum in your mental pendulum. Ride it into streaming light and words and names and dates and times and places. See colors and hear sounds. Smell smells. Feel your environment. Then again allow your consciousness to centralize.
5. Ground.
6. The next time you meditate, swing harder. You will find that your mind may even alternate consciousness freely and more readily. You will have more control of mental states and be more centered in waking than ever. During meditation you will begin to experience great peace in Chokhmah and great ecstasy and vision in Binah. The rest of your day you will experience balanced Daat.

Enjoy. Peace.

Hamas Say What?

2009-07-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

If anyone has any doubt that Hamas is a joke played on the people of the Middle East by the Man Upstairs himself, just read this article. Hamas is made up of the same people that believe the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and Mein Kampf. Every member of Hamas should be viewed and treated as a Nazi camp guard because every last one is just that. Yes, I know what that means - execution of all of Hamas agents.

When will this conspiracy theory nonsense stop? And when will left wing Americans wake up and smell the coffee? Hamas is not calling for the return of land or any kind of "human rights," if they were I would say that Israel should consider their demands. Israel is not blameless in their war on Hamas and they have not been careful enough not to stir up unnecessary dust. But no, Hamas is calling for the complete annihilation of the Jewish people and in an official capacity at that. This is a call for the annihilation of Hamas. The Palestinian people, both in the West Bank and in Gaza, would benefit greatly in the long run from continued military action against the terrorists. The only other sane alternative is for Hamas to completely turn around and recognize Israel as a nation and finally give the world some peace. Hamas has been offered peace many times and every time failed.

Now they blamed the "Zionist intelligence services" for distributing aphrodisiac chewing gum? If this turns out to be real, by the way, I want some of that gum. Sounds like a good time. But if not - which I am sure it won't - I better not hear anyone screaming "white phospher" to distract us from the truth. Is Israel flawless, no, but does it care about the fidelity of Gazan youth...?
http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5iflSn6wJWSpD_E55DV8LHxvldfiA

Hard Polytheism, Moral Relativism, and Ecstasy

2009-07-13T15:25:00.000-07:00

I have never been much of a philosopher. I know some people will laugh at that but it's true. I've been a thinker. I've thought in paradigms, equations, and correspondences. Philosophy, however, was never my forte. Things are changing with me. As I advance spiritually, I feel my ideas and dogmas changing and even dissolving. I would like to use this entry as a self examination and also offer up my ideas for discussion.

I have always said that I believe all the many thousands - even hundreds of thousands - of Pagan gods are really all faces of a Supreme Unknowable Oneness. I will try to restate this theory in the paraphrased words of a very good friend and teacher. I believe that in origin all the gods are one but that at this point in time they are individuated consciousnesses. In other words, Artemis and Persephone are seperate entities with their own messages and energies. Originally they emerged from a single source much like all creation emerged from a tiny infintessimal speck. The universe may very well turn around and collapse one day and those deities may very well compound into Oneness again. But as of right now, Artemis will answer only if her name is called and the "Goddess" must be called either by a specific name or the word "Goddess" must become that for the worshipper.

Last year, when confronted with the idea of moral relativism, I very vehemently stood against it. Now I realize that my stand was not really against but for relativism. After all, morals are conceived of in the human mind and, the human minds being individuated, morals are therefore subjective and not objective. Social ethics - values emulated by an entire community or at least a majority within a community - are applicable only to the society that excepts them. This does not mean that I am fine with murder in societies where murder is justified. It means that it is my duty to stand against that justification by attempting to spread my morals to those societies. Of course not everyone believes that they are entitled to enforce their own morals on others. Will this idea lead to chaos? I am afraid it already has.

Ecstasy in not easily explained. I could put it like this. I was once struck by lightening and simultaneously had a vision of a white dragon guarding the western reaches of the universe. He gifted me with a horde of ten spirits which can divide into any number and take any form and accomplish any task. That moment was ecstasy. The first time I was possessed by the Spirit of Fire, I spoke in a language unknown to man and collapsed to the floor from the pressure of the presence. That was ecstasy. I made love with another Witch once...or a few times. My skin felt like it was on icefire. That was ecstasy.

A moment to rant.

2009-07-10T00:10:00.000-07:00

There are a few things in life that pain me. We're taught to ignore them but it is easier said than done. The crazy things I have involved myself in and the beautiful things I have lost are just cause for such suffering. I'm not sure if it's regret or reminiscence.

I miss old loves. Not so much old lovers as just love I used to experience. I occasionally see a glimmer of hope that it is still out there but I am more often reminded that it probably isn't. All my friends can do is say, "I feel ya." They tell me they are there for me. When will one of them say, "I want to be the love in your life and never ever disappoint, abandon, or abuse you."? When will I find someone to engage in mutual worship?

Wise men say it isn't necessary. You must be complete within yourself. Unless you are a god, which you very well may be, that's impossible. I'm not ruling it out, but I tried to be a god and failed miserably at it. It isn't fun to be complete; read, "alone."

How many chances can one person give? Is it worth it to ask again, try again, and possibly be turned away from a once potential paradise again? These questions hunt my memory until it, exhausted, collapses helpless on the jungle floor. The questions then consume it and, hopefully for my sake, do away with it completely. I don't even want the carcass of my past if it means thinking this every night before bed. Oh look, another day gone by ending at 333. The anniversary of my declaration of independence approaches. Some freedom. The taxes are such that I can't even afford the time of day.

The Craft and Christianity

2009-07-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

I have received some pretty ignorant messages regarding my spiritual orientation recently. I responded directly to them but I believe I need to be more specific on what I actually do believe so that anyone who is curious will know. No one has any right to make assumptions about my religion. I have studied Christianity extensively and that is the only reason why I feel justified in commenting on it. If you do not know what I believe, do not make wild accusations.

Witchcraft, or the Craft, is what I call my spiritual practice. I belong specifically to the Avatarian Rite of Wicca, a sect of the Craft. A sect, cult, or tradition is the same thing as a denomination. The meaning of "Witchcraft" will be explored in this article.

First of all, a Craft (capital C) is any work that involves spiritual evolution. For example, the Freemasons call their work the Craft and it has made many great philanthropists out of average Joes. It is their moral and spiritual evolution to do charitable works. The Craft as Witchcraft is the spiritual evolution of the individual through interaction with the forces of nature. As a Witch (Old English for "Wise One") works with these forces, he is molded by them and becomes a channel for the divine power within nature. This leads many Witches to believe that the Creator and its Creation are One Being. I say "it" because Witches do not narrow Deity to male or female but instead maintain that God is both male and female.

That is about all Witches "believe" because Witchcraft is an experiential religion (though some would say it is not a religion but a practice). It is based on practices not beliefs. Some of us believe in various gods and goddesses or in spirits that act as intermediaries for human interaction with them but every tradition or denomination of the Craft is different. NONE of the practitioners of Witchcraft worship or believe in the Devil or Satan. The only people who call themselves "Witches" who do are female LaVeyan Satanists who are not associated with the Witchcraft we are talking about here. Why Witches are accused of worshipping Satan I do not understand and it is wrong. I have a few ideas about that though, and here are some misconceptions that need to be addressed:

Our symbolism is ancient, more ancient than any of the Monotheisms. The Pentagram predates even Judaism but it was used by both Judaism and Christianity before the Star of David or the Cross. Unfortunately, Satanists began using the symbol (inverted) to represent Satanism during the 20th century. Witches had used the inverted pentagram to symbolize the Second Degree of Wicca until then. Some sects still do but most have abandoned it because of its new Satanic connotation. I would like to remind everyone here that Christians and Jews both utilized the Inverted Pentagram as well as the regular one pointing up. It is not an inherently Satanic symbol. What it really symbolizes is spiritual power, and thus its universal nature.

Another misconception is that Witches are opposed to Christianity or Anti-Christian. Witchcraft is not Anti-Christian, Christianity is Anti-Witchcraft. Witches do not care about Christianity or its god or his son. Some of them admire the man Jesus for his philosophies and many are even scholars of the Bible (as I am) but we do not oppose the teachings of Christianity and we do not dislike Christians. Christianity, on the other hand, has been responsible for the persecution of Witches (both real and imagined) since the Dark Ages. Judaism has done the same since its emergence from Egypt and bloody invasion of Canaan. Now Islam executes innocent women for practicing Witchcraft in many countries without evidence and often without trial. It isn't the Craft inciting this violence.

The point of all this is to bring out of the dark the real truth about interfaith relations involving Christianity or Orthodox Judaism or Fundamentalist Islam. (Really any Monotheism.) Because those religions believe that their way is the only true path to a legitimate experience with the Divine, there can be no peace between them and other faiths. Witches, and all other world religions that are not Monotheistic, believe that everyone has his own path to truth. We do not deny that Christianity is valid for Christians we only insist on having the freedom to choose our own path.

That path has nothing to do with the Devil or Satanism and it is the Christian religion that has popularized the Satanic image and religion, not Witchcraft. If Christians are looking for a scapegoat for their opponents, they themselves are the only valid selection! Why? Because no one is opposing Christianity except for the other Monotheisms that maintain their own superiority in identical fashion.

Another assumption many Christians make is that because of their "salvation" they experience unique phenomena that are inexistent in other faiths. These include, but are not limited to Speaking in Tongues, miraculous healing, visions, prophecies, and spiritual ecstasy. ALL of these experiences are common in the Craft. Many Witches are imbued with the gift of Speaking in Tongues because it is from our religion that Christianity adopted the practice. Miraculous healing is the everyday in the Craft, which is why we don't call our healing miraculous! We call it healing, spell casting, or magick because it works regardless of our "faith" or our "power." Craft "miracles" work mechanically. Visions, prophecy, and spiritual ecstasy are side effects of Craft practice and are in no way unique to Christianity or any other religion. In fact, these experiences are nearly universal.

I will not tolerate any more slander from people who know nothing about my practice. I have taken defensive measures and put up walls of protection to defend me against any spiritual attacks. Already, these measures have proven successful against those who pray for me to "leave Witchcraft" or "abandon his practices." I will reiterate here that these measures are defensive and that those who do not attack me with their words and deeds will not be affected. But it is time for the Craft to boldly declare that we won't take it anymore. We are not afraid of anyone's claims to supreme power or invincibility. We do not fear retribution for we have done nothing wrong. The Craft is the oldest religion on Earth, the most recent archaeological evidence dating our Animistic branch back to 70,000 years ago. Those years of belief and practice offer us quite a nice shield against attack and we will not tolerate anything else.

I encourage everyone who reads this to post comments as they will. Members of the Craft, please support me by declaring that you do not worship Satan and that you do not oppose Christianity. If you would also like to leave a statement regarding your own beliefs and practices, please do so. I will also, again, clarify that while I do not oppose Christianity or dislike Christians, I do oppose vile religion and vile people who are full of hatred. Jesus did not teach us to be ignorant and intolerant and if you really believe in him and in Hell, then you will be careful not to defy his teachings and slander other people.

Aquarian Patriotism

2009-07-03T06:07:00.001-07:00

I'm a little tired of people screaming for patriotism when dissenters complain about problems they see in postmodern America. I think this reveals another problem with Americans, that they lack historical perspective. Exhibit B: Americans who believe that this country was founded on Christian values or that American is a Christian nation. Again, a shocking lack of historical perspective. So as a proud American and a die hard patriot, I would like to present some views of the founding fathers who had something completely different than robotic conformity and Christian universality in mind...when they signed the Declaration of Independence on August 2nd and other legal documents, later. Again, historical perspective anyone??

President John Adams in 1797. The unanimously ratified (by the Senate) Treaty of Tripoli. "As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion."

Oh...that's right...the First Amendment of the Constitution: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances." [Heavy emphasis mine. I believe the contextual meaning of "respect" is "acknowledge."]

For a brilliant analysis of those quotes: http://www.publiceye.org/magazine/v21n2/history.html

"Lighthouses are more helpful than churches." -Benjamin Franklin. I know someone will complain and say that Franklin insisted that religion is a vital component in society. He did as here in a 1757 letter, "If Men are so wicked as we now see them with Religion what would they be if without it?" Let us remember that Franklin, as a Mason and a Deist, was insisting on the necessity of religion in general and not Christianity.

"Christianity neither is, nor ever was, a part of the common law." -Thomas Jefferson in the suitably named "Vol. 1 Whether Christianity is Part of the Common Law." Some more by my hero, President Jefferson from various sources listed here: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Thomas_Jefferson.

"We will, in defiance of every hazard, with unabating firmness and perseverance, employ for the preservation of our liberties; being with one mind resolved to die free men rather than to live slaves."

"All persons shall have full and free liberty of religious opinion; nor shall any be compelled to frequent or maintain any religious institution."

"In the middle ages of Christianity opposition to the State opinions was hushed. The consequence was, Christianity became loaded with all the Romish follies. Nothing but free argument, raillery & even ridicule will preserve the purity of religion."

"Compulsion in religion is distinguished peculiarly from compulsion in every other thing. I may grow rich by art I am compelled to follow, I may recover health by medicines I am compelled to take against my own judgment, but I cannot be saved by a worship I disbelieve & abhor."

"Shall we suffer a Pagan to deal with us and not suffer him to pray to his god?"

"The basis of our government being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter."

"I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical. "

"God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion."

"I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever in religion, in philosophy, in politics, or in anything else where I was capable of thinking for myself. Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and moral agent."

"Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because, if there be one, he must more approve the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear."

"Read the Bible, then as you would read Livy or Tacitus. The facts which are within the ordinary course of nature, you will believe on the authority of the writer, as you do those of the same kind in Livy and Tacitus. The testimony of the writer weighs in their favor, in one scale, and their not being against the laws of nature, does not weigh against them. But those facts in the Bible which contradict the laws of nature, must be examined with more care, and under a variety of faces. Here you must recur to the pretensions of the writer to inspiration from God. Examine upon what evidence his pretensions are founded, and whether that evidence is so strong, as that its falsehood would be more improbable than a change in the laws of nature, in the case he relates."

And just for fun...George Washington:

"Make the most of the Indian hemp seed, and sow it everywhere!"

"It was not my intention to doubt that, the Doctrines of the Illuminati, and principles of Jacobinism had not spread in the United States. On the contrary, no one is more truly satisfied of this fact than I am." [Note that "Illuminati" was an is a name for Freemasonry. The word means "enlightened ones" not "people taking over the world." Many religious and political groups have utilized the Latin term...even Christians.]

"Of all the animosities which have existed among mankind, those which are caused by difference of sentiments in religion appear to be the most inveterate and distressing, and ought most to be deprecated. I was in hopes that the enlightened and liberal policy, which has marked the present age, would at least have reconciled Christians of every denomination so far that we should never again see the religious disputes carried to such a pitch as to endanger the peace of society."

"We have abundant reason to rejoice that in this Land the light of truth & reason has triumphed over the power of bigotry and superstition, and that every person may here worship God according to the dictates of his own heart. In this enlightened age & in this Land of equal liberty it is our boast, that a man's religious tenets will not forfeit the protection of the Laws, nor deprive him of the right of attaining & holding the highest offices that are known in the United States."

"Government is not reason, it is not eloquence — it is force! Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action."

And of course, this one. Let me remind you, he says "Religion" not "Christianity": "Of all the dispositions and habits, which lead to political prosperity, Religion and Morality are indispensable supports."

And back to me. I think this should suffice to prove my point that I, as a patriot, am fully within the bounds of my patriotism to loathe my government for upholding the rights of some more favorably than others. For I am possessed by the spirit of patriotism outlined by my founding fathers - all mentioned here were good Masons - to rebel against the so called established order and to demand that my governmant answer to me, who am the possessor of all her power, and to deny Christianity as the law of my land whole heartedly and without fear.

Blogging is addictive and Enta Eih

2009-07-01T22:29:00.000-07:00

So blogging is addictive even though no one probably reads it. I was just thinking how appropriate the Nancy Ajram song Enta Eih is when I think about love. She explains it perfctly:

Law kan da hob ya waili mino
If this is love, my misery is from it
W law kan da zanbi matoub aano
And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again
Law kan naseebi aaeesh fey gerah
And if it is my lot to live in torment
Hayaeesh fey gerah
I shall live in torment.

Excuse my Arabic but it is just beautiful. Love really hurts whether it is romantic (YES) or otherwise. All I have to say is "law kan da hob ya waili mino." Misery indeed. A cryptic poem...again:

If I could walk a thousand miles
I would kill Vanessa Carlton
For singing that terrible song
And if I could walk a thousand miles
I would have already seen you
Ten times.

Depression Magick

2009-07-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

It would seem that people are always complaining about depression nowadays. We have, what some call, the happiness disease. We think that we always need to be happy and, if we aren't, something is wrong. But what happens when it is more than being not happy, and it becomes being sad, fatigued, and disenchanted with the world. There is something happening that is making us see more faults in life than perfections. I think there is a very cosmic purpose behind this trend.

Today Uranus went retrograde in Pisces. To me this means that there is a shaking happening in the spiritual sector of all our lives. This will manifest differently for different people because of their varying Ascendants which determine what house this occurs in but I do feel that we are going to begin waking up to our flaws. These flaws will not just be the things we don't like about our lives and our personalities, they will reveal our dissatisfaction with our connection to Spirit. We will regret how much we do not know and how little of the Spirit Realm we have seen and turn back with Uranus into the world of the "unexplained" to find out why it is this way.

For people suffering from the symptoms of depression, this may be a time to put down the drugs and seek freedom spiritually. I was on Saint John's Wort, a natural treatment for depression, for almost two weeks. In that short amount of time, I did see a change. Recently, I ran out! In a day I was starting to feel miserable again. Last night I was facing some serious mental blockages. Because of the stressful state of my life yesterday, I could not think. Stubborn, I opened the books and began practicing the Greater Ritual of the Pentagram, setting the intention to use the ritual to not only treat but to cure my depression.

I am not a doctor, and my advice can not replace medical expertise. Still, I challenge anyone who reads this who is suffering with depression to at least try doing something spiritual today to numb the pain. See if you can't change your feelings by changing how you look at Spirit. You don't have to do the Greater Ritual of the Pentagram. But when was the last time you prayed? Have you ever earnestly tried connecting with divine beings without criticizing yourself or giving in to disbelief? Join me in this grand experiment. By the time Uranus turns direct on December First, will you be depression free?

It is not just Uranus. For this entire month of july, Juppiter, Neptune, and Pluto are retrograde. We will all be down on our luck, psychics will have cloudy visions, and business people will feel like they are experiencing the worst kind of deja vu. This is a time when we need to grasp onto something that does not change for the worser. Spirit changes, yes, but with it we do not fall backward, we only push forward.

Me being something of a Zionist...

2009-06-30T11:54:00.000-07:00

Usually I like the AP. Good old Associated Press. But it seems their articles are leaning more and more lately. And guess which way:

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5gc0U8_8nh31_Rmce1jHk0qy0L5iQ

This article did not make me angry because I believe that Hamas is to blame for the continuation of the Israeli-Gazan-West Bank(ian) conflict. It made me angry because it presented the illegal actions of mostly American protesters look like a humanitarian aid mission. Oh and in case anyone is wondering about my stance on the closed borders, Israel is only responsible for closing the Israeli border. The Egyptian border with Gaza was closed by the Egyptians because they recognize the Hamas ties with the Egyptian Brotherhood of Islam, the parent terrorist organization for Hamas. They recently opened the crossing in Ramallah temporarily. The IDF, however, has been providing Gazans with just enough supplies to live since the "blockade" began. This is Middle Eastern diplomacy. Westerners need to stop viewing everyone as Westerners. And if you want to blame Israel for starving Gazans, please include Egypt. They don't want to feel left out, I'm sure. Oh and by the way. In case you're one of those who do not believe Israel is bringing in aid regularly, check out this other AP article:

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jx1nZQxJbxcsg8CKOJLVLVWTnybAD99557M80

Anyway, the protesters made all sorts of outrageous claims about the IDF with, of course, no viable way of proving any of it. They were probably still screaming "white phosphor" in the background while the reporter was typing away from a safe, distant, Western AP station. I find it so laughable that these ultra-liberal, Green-Peace-esque "activists," try to infiltrate a military blockade and then complain when they are threatened - if they were - with a military response. If this happened in America, those people would have either been secretly blown up or arrested for illegal invasion of United States maritime territory. I love how American activists think so highly of themselves while railing against others.

Another farce, the truth about American Hamas sympathizers, is the torture and execution they would all suffer if Hamas did not need them. Let's be honest, the people that support Hamas are generally the same people that support Gay marriage in this country. They are the same people who call themselves Feminists and Postmodernists. These are three classifications Hamas officially (read the charter!) hates. And so long as Hamas maintains their official stance against Israel (again, it's in the charter for the whole world to see), I agree with Netanyahu. Hamas and Fatah recognize Israel as a state with a legal right to existence and Gaza and the West Bank can have their own countries. But as long as they say "our chiefest objective is to eliminate the Jewish race from the Earth" then I say to hell with them. They can continue to pretend they like American hippies and Israel can continue the blockade and the siege.

Oh the siege. Apparently the AP did not get the memo. The siege is over. Still, they complain even as Gazan rockets continue flying and Hamas calls for more bombings. And about Maguire, when did Palestinians ever non violently protest? MLK would be appalled. Read the article closely:

Irish Nobel peace prize laureate Mairead Maguire, for her part, said US
President Barack Obama "has called upon the Palestinians to abandon violence but
Israel is denying them the right to non-violently resist the siege of
Gaza."
Israel has maintained a strict blockade on the Palestinian territory since the Islamist movement Hamas seized power in 2007, and it launched a massive 22-day offensive on Gaza in December in a bid to halt rocket fire.

The Blood Moon

2007-09-24T07:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know much about the Blood Moon. I'll have to read up on it more. This being the end of my first year of actually practicing Witchcraft I have yet to celebrate every Esbat. I missed a few... I do know that, as the harvest ended, the people of the past had to make the hunt in order to survive the long nights of winter. Animal meat was necessary for eating in the absence of summer herbage; the harvest reaping can't have lasted too long after the harvest without the modern convenience of a deep freeze in the cellar. Nowadays we are more fortunate. We don't have to bog down our energy fields with animal products or kill harmless forest creatures. But if you want to anyways...that's your prerogative.

To me the Blood Moon is a celebration of the wild hunt for light. As the sun essentially "dies" after Mabon and is finally in the grave when the veil is thinnest at Samhain, we are stripped of light. We bundle up, which resonates with the concept of hibernation, and protect ourselves from the harsher lessons of the elements. Think about what light means to us. We associate light with wisdom and warmth and love and hope. The darkness seems to us obscure, occult, and sometimes even menacing.

As the Blood Moon approaches we are called to reach out in this time of increasing darkness, when wars are being waged all over the world, the blood of thousands being spilled. We are admonished by the Lady to hold on in the darkness of the hunt for solace. The Lord of Light has been reincarnated in her womb and we shall celebrate his birth at the sunrise of Yule when light returns to us again.

Let us look forward to the return of light and recognize the lessons darkness has to teach us. Let us hope for love and harmony, knowing that it will naturally be born again on the darkest day. Let us hold on to our understanding and be the pillar of light that others will look to for support when the blizzard of winter consumes them.

This Blood Moon, I will not be hosting an Esbat in the basement of Butterfield. There is so much to do! However, I would like to gather those around me with whom I feel powerful and raise the light in our lives. It is time to encourage the springing forth of knowledge. I encourage you to do the same. Whether it is in the form of a prayer or a spell or a complex ritual, put some energy into standing fast for hope and understanding.

ॐ माँ नि प द्मे हुं

Drum and Drawl

2007-09-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

This Sunday, the 23rd of September, there shall be a drumming and bardic circle on campus. The details? They are simple and were posted on both the Facebook and Google groups for SPIRALS. Follows the ad:

Drumming and Bardic Circle at the hill Northeast of Butterfield Dorm! This Sunday, the 23rd of September at 4:30 PM. Planned happenings: drumming for the healing of the Earth and any requests brought to the circle, honoring Mabon and seeking balance, and a water libation for our tree friends on the hill. Bring a drum or a poem or just yourself and a little clean water for the libation. Anyone who wants to dance with the drums or meditate nearby is welcome.

So are you ready for a loud and obnoxious end to your weekend? Thought so... Drum and Drawl commences at 4:30 and I hope to see you there. Oh, and please do not be intimidated by my awesome drumming skills. Actually I just borrowed a djembe (spelling?) from my sister and practiced a little with Loreena Mckennitt (on my iPod that is). So don't be intimidated at all. No experience necessary.

Namaste,
Josh

UMass UCard UCraft

2007-09-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

Welcome to UCraft, the official blog of the unofficial UMass resident Witch.

The New or Dark Moon Esbat on September 11th went off without a hitch. But a happy time for a Witch. I apologize for the cheesy rhyme, I couldn't help myself, don't be a bitch. Really, the ritual was powerful and educational for those there who didn't know much about the Craft. It was truly a moving experience to have such an open group.

13 people attended, the perfect number for such a gathering. Still, I look forward to seeing a larger crowd at my first Sabbat at UMass on the 23rd. If all goes according to plan, it will be held on the hill near Butterfield. I'm planning a drumming circle, libations, and perhaps some circle dancing and bardic poetry. Before I go into detail on all of that, let me say a little more about the Esbat.

First of all, for those of you who don't know, an Esbat is a Witches' meeting that is not set on a particular holiday but instead planned to correspond with the phase of the moon. September 11, 2007 was the New or Dark Moon this month and marks the beginning of a lunar month. The spellwork performed during the Esbat was thus planned to reflect powers of dark potential. One spell was to aid a friend in abstaining from certain things, the other was to boost the potential of another friend and to call spirits of song to her aid. The New Moon also designates a time for beginning new works and learning new things, especially considering the recent commencement of the school year and the educational segment of the ritual proceedings on Tuesday night.

A Sabbat, on the other hand, is a solar festival. There are eight major Sabbats of the year. These are the only ones that all Witches adhere to as a rule. There are countless other festivals, solar and otherwise, that certain sects of Witchcraft adhere to, but the most important ones are the two equinoxes, two solstices, and the four quarter days. The approaching Sabbat is the Autumnal Equinox, also called Mabon (MAY-bun), and apparently known to some as Alban Elfed or Winter Finding.

The point is, light and darkness stand equal. This phenomenon calls us to pause and balance ourselves and then to celebrate the late harvest. Soon we will start seeing gourds and pumpkins everywhere as we draw near to Samhain (which I am told is pronounced SAH-wen), the holiday when the veil is thinnest between the living and the dead.

So as the God wanes, the masculine side of divinity represented by the Sun, we acknowledge that his death approaches too. For this reason, our Mother Earth is left infertile again. Fear not! There can never be resurrection without death and there can never be death without resurrection. The God is reborn at Winter Solstice. More on that later...

So we celebrate balance, the harvest, the age and wisdom of our old Father God, and thus we celebrate the mysteries of natural cycles too. So this is how the planned activities of the 23rd fall into place:

The drumming circle is for restoring balance. With our drumming, we will raise power to send to the Earth for its restoration. Also, anyone who desires healing may receive a drummed blessing during the ritual. Libations will be performed after a crescendo of drumming followed by a brief pause in which incantations will be read or recited and libations poured at nearby trees. Drumming will begin again as dancers step into the circle and show us what they can do. Everyone is encouraged to bring a drum (or saucepan) and everyone is encouraged to dance or at least run around like a heathen...just a little. Then, as everyone settles down and shares refreshments, volunteers will read or recite bardic poetry honoring the seasons and the Earth and telling her stories.

Well, it certainly is getting late and I should entertain the Dreaming with my presence yet again. If anyone has any questions about the recent Esbat or about the coming Sabbat, feel free to email me. And please check out the sources below which I used to refresh my memory while writing this article.

~ Josh

http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=usxx&c=holidays&sc=mabon&id=1990
http://www.tryskelion.com/tryskelion/mabon.htm

Mahamantra and Cleansing

2007-09-02T06:50:00.000-07:00

हरे कृष्ण हरे कृष्ण

कृष्ण कृष्ण हरे हरे

हरे राम हरे राम

राम राम हरे हरे

I really enjoy this mantra. While the translation does bear importance in my spiritual life, it is even more amazing how the vibrations of the Sanskrit mantra bring on this intense feeling of being surrounded by life force. So I encourage meditating on this mantra before performing this new cleansing ritual.

This ritual was designed for those of you who, like me, have been limited in your Craft by where you live. If you can't burn incense or light candles, if you can't brandish a sharp knife in a banishing rite, then this ritual is for you. Now, I have the convenience of already having a consecrated besom. I just moved into my college dormitory and at home I was relatively free to practice as I pleased. Therefore, all of my tools are already sanctified and broken in. They have become extensions of my personal power and such is the goal of using tools at all - they have no power in and of themselves.

It may be wise to select a fair planetary hour for this ritual, like Saturn. Today is a Sunday and the first hour of Saturn starts at 10:38 and ends at 11:43. The solar energy of the day is beneficial to the cause because solar energy is often considered rather all-purpose. Solar energy is also useful because it is intensely revitalizing. After a cleansing, it is good to fill the person, place, or thing you are cleansing with new energy. You don't drain the oil from a car and leave the oil tank empty, do you? Of course not. So many forget this aspect of cleansing...refilling!

The hour of Saturn is useful because it has limiting, purging, and even dark qualities. In a sense, cleansing a space puts us in touch with darkness because, in order to shoo away forces of imbalance, we need to take on a subtly militant approach ourselves. Alternatively, Saturn is the farthest planet from the Sun and from us. We therefore cast our troubles, and all negativity, to the farthest reaches of our solar system. This, quite obviously, takes into consideration only the seven planets of antiquity and ignores Uranus and Neptune (Pluto is no longer considered a planet in any regard).

The rite itself is simple. Take your besom and bell and stand in the center of the room. I like to face East at the beginning because Air can be a very cleansing element. We use incense to represent Air and the bell and besom are generally considered as being aligned with the same element of Air. If your bell is small enough, you can tie it to the handle of the besom. My besom has a convenient hole in the end of the handle for this purpose.

If your besom is not consecrated and you don't have the time or resources for a full blown consecration, you can just practice projecting cleansing energy through the besom and bestowing it upon the bell. Do this by imagining being surrounded by Air. Not just physical air, but the element Air. Imagine the color yellow, the direction East, the Archangel Raphael, do whatever you must to be surrounded by Air. Now breathe in and visualize - even feel - that energy pouring in through every pore. This is called pore breathing. Now project that energy with all your might and willpower through the besom. Repeat the process and project the energy onto the bell.

So, we're back to the actually ritual again. Stand in the center of the room facing East. Begin to walk widdershins, waving your besom around as you feel lead. I actually sweep the floor with mine. I think it connects the ritual, for me, to the idea of cleaning up scraps of unwanted material or, in this case, energy. As you spiral outward, projecting your cleansing energy all over the room, pay careful attention to beds, couches, seats, doors, windows, and corners. You may want to finish your spiral at the main door of the room and sweep all the negative energy out through it.

You may fill the room with white light as you go if you wish. This is a very simple energy to manifest but is extremely beneficial. Alternatively, and I like this way. You may change directions and, using a wand or just your hands, guide a procession of white light into your room. When you reach the center, let the spiral explode and fill every corner of the room. Visualize, feel, sense is every way possible the energy filling the room. KNOW that it will block negative energy from entering and KNOW that it is pure, healing, welcoming energy and that positive spiritual influences will manifest in the environment you have set up.

Enjoy! And, by the way, if you do chant the Mahamantra and you don't read Hindi or Sanskrit, here's the transliteration...

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna

Krishna Krishna Hare Hare

Hare Rama Hare Rama

Rama Rama Hare Hare.

Long Time

2007-08-22T10:12:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've used this blog. I use my myspace blog more often.

Since I've written a lot has happened in my life of Witchery. There's some that's not worth talking about, and some I just can't talk about. What I do want to say is that The Celestine Prophecy is a worthy read...even though I've only finished the first chapter. It's amazing so far and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Speaking of the Celestine Prophecy, things seem to be amazingly synchronized as of late. I've noticed that everything seems to fit into a kind of plan. Like it's all happening for a very specific reason. I hope to be able to be less vague later, but for now things are still very hush hush. More on that later...I hope.

Recently, I was supposed to perform a ritual for a case delivered to me from a healing network I am a member of. The request was canceled by the client because said client found out I was using a ritual for the request. I don't really want that ritual to go to waste so that's another thing I'll be posting here in time.

~ Josh

Midsummer

2007-06-21T20:34:00.000-07:00

Good Midsummer to all. I hope the first day of this glorious season was full of fun and sunny energy. Mine was beautiful. I woke up, lazily showered and dressed, prepared the house for a little ritual that was to take place later on, and did my morning dedication. I performed a spell for the satisfaction of the household spirits, made an incense offering and libation on my front steps, and watched Borat. The ritual and following dinner was full of love for my dance teacher who was suprised by my family's little setup. We watched A Night at the Museum afterward while enjoying dessert. The night ended with a light show in the sky as a storm rolled over us, instilling power in the night.

I am exhausted now, my energies sapped, this night's sleep should rearrange my thoughts and I'll be able to process it all tomorrow including an idea for two new books: The Strand, and The Center of the Universe.

Learning Devotion

2007-06-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

Lately I have felt a lack of devotion in my spiritual life and in my dynamic relationship with the Goddess and God. Upon leaving conservative religion I dropped prayer because I felt guilty, as if God would look down on me for "converting" to Witchcraft. Now I regret that. Praying through my change might have helped me adapt to my new faith more quickly and to empower my ritual more strongly.

Today I started reading Living Wicca by Scott Cunningham. I am considering aligning myself with a tradition of Wicca and working toward joining a coven after settling into my new college routine. I feel lead to do so and I am especially drawn to Seax-Wica, the very branch from which I first learned the basics of Witchcraft via Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft. I finished the first section of Living Wicca in a minimal amount of time in the car with my parents. It reopened my heart and mind to prayer and true devotion to, not only ritual use of, the Goddess and God.

Today I lit my altar candles, poured the Cup full of holy water. Censed myself and my altar, and prepared the salt. The Elements present, I invoked the God and Goddess with a personal prayer as it came to me and rang the altar bell in their honor. I asked them to bless the new Craft items and candles I brought home for their service and I consecrated the candles with water from Imbolc. I then lit a new candle that smells deliscious. It is biscotti scented. It makes me feel wonderful about myself and so I dedicated it to self love rites. I poured out my love to the Goddess as I built it up with in.

I feel so good about my practice today and plan to keep with it. As my blue spirit guide told me a while ago (I call him my blue spirit guide because I do not yet know his name), I need to focus more on theurgy. And so I am learning new mantras and meditations. I love the new Witch life I am leading and it really does feel like I am building up this new life feeling for the new birth that comes with initiation.

Tai Chi

2007-05-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

Tai Chi, take it. It's a wonderful exercise in energy manipulation, grounding, centering, raising power, and I recommend it for any practicing Witch. If you can't go to a classs because you are too busy - like me - then by a tape. There are some really good ones out there and I recommend one by Chris...something. Google it.

~ Josh

Solitaire Support

2007-05-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about making this online "coven" open to actually accepting members. I envision a new online support group for solitary Witches that functions as a cyber coven geared toward teaching the basics, providing guidance for studying more complex operations, and helping practitioners stay in contact with fellow ones. It's not easy working alone but many Witches have no choice! Let's band together.

This is an opportunity to express your interest: send me an email with your ideas.

~ Josh

Learning Self-Sufficiency

2007-05-05T22:24:00.000-07:00

Self-sufficiency is a big part of being a Witch. You can't work with others until you can work alone and you cannot work at all if you can't provide for yourself. When you have mastered the basics and are ready to rely more on your own abilities and less on the herbal shop and grocery store, start your own garden. Read a bit about wortcunning, aromatherapy, and botany. Take what you learn and begin growing your own herbs and flowers and making your own blends, incenses, and remedies.

You don't even need to plant a formal garden to utilize nature's bounty in your spell work. You'd be surprised how many useful plants are mistaken for weeds. One such plant is the common dandelion. The leaves (before the plant blooms) make a great salad or steamed side dish. The root of a dandelion may be dug up, dried, baked, ground, and added to hot water to be used as a substitute for coffee.

~ Josh

Hare Moon Sesbat(?)

2007-05-02T18:25:00.000-07:00

Today I celebrated the Hare Moon and Beltane together. I guess a Sabbat and an Esbat put together are a Sesbat. Although, it doesn't sound to...nice.

I had a stroke of genius today, if I may say so myself, and cast my circle with it's southern corner right on my family fireplace and hung my honeysuckle wreath over it. After the casting I lit a log on the fire and recited my Beltane chants. I kept the Beltane fire going by transferring that fire to a ton of candles scattered throughout my house, some of which are still burning. It was a rich and rewarding experience and I feel full of fire.

Tonight I made pasta and vegetables for me and my sister and threw in a dash of cayenne pepper - just enough for a little zing. It was delicious and was quite easy to prepare and cook.

I designated a corner of my garden on the edge of my stone circle to the Fay. The tradition with that is to leave that corner untouched. I poured a water libation and consecrated the space to the Fay and shall now leave it be. No weeding, watering, planting, sowing, or tilling will be done there. We'll see what happens.

I also really started listening to the wind and it carries with it very comfortng messages.

Here are some of my magickal plans for the next week or so: I want to find out what I can cook with dandelion greens. I am hoping to meet with a magickal friend this weekend. I want to choreograph a new circle dance to a new circle hymn.

~ Josh

Wreathes and Annoyances

2007-05-02T04:42:00.000-07:00

Here's a cool craft idea and a bad attitude solution.

For Beltane, yesterday, I wove a wreath out of honeysuckle. Honeysuckle is that bush that grows all over the place in the woods and it has green, silky leaves and doesn't look too different from a lilac bush with rounder leaves. The leaves are just coming out now and the branches are very flexible. If you want to make your own wreath, just round out a hanger and wrap it with a few branches if honeysuckle. You can add yellow, white, and light green ribbons for the Hare Moon - today! If there are any climbing or trailing vines growing near or on your house, you can weave a few in. Hang your creation up in a visible place in your home so that everyone can enjoy and get a piece of the High Spring Spirit. That's what I'm calling this season. Spring has reached its apex (although you wouldn't know that from the weather today) and summer is on its way.

The next issue is irritability. I just noticed today how very irritable I am. It isn't a good quality for anyone serious about Magick. Anyone truly seeking to serve the Lord and Lady and to reap the benefits thereof must be balanced and irritation does not promote balance.

Enjoy the craft and heed the advice. I promise it's good advice.

~ Josh

May Day

2007-04-30T06:48:00.000-07:00

May Day is a celebration of fire and solar energy. It is the bridge between Vernal Equinox and Summer Solstice, the day when we celebrate the waxing of the sun's power. This is reflected in the Welsh or Gaelic name commonly used for the holiday - Beltane. According to some Wiccan scholars, Bel is the name of a Welsh sky god and tan is the Welsh word for fire. Beltane then means "fire in the sky." (Dorothy Morrison's The Craft) Other etymological investigations pin Beltane to Gaelic, translating it as, among other things, "Bael fire," "white fire," "shining fire." Clearly, creative power and masculine energies are the focus.

Perhaps the most famous tradition surrounding Beltane is the dancing of the Maypole. There is a lot of custom surrounding the preparation of the Maypole and the dance about it but if you don't have the time or manpower to erect your own maypole at home, you may - as I plan to do - tie a few long ribbons to a tree as high up as you can comfortable reach and dance about the tree. Leave the decoration intact through Beltane and, if it is close like it is this year, the Full Moon. As you dance see whate kind of patterns you can weave with the ribbon. Leave a libation for the tree on Beltane and carefully cut away the ribbons soonafter. If you leave them too long the tree will grow, expanding the bark and the ribbons will leave a scar in the tree. For the same reason, it is wize to refit any wards you leave on the trees on your property every month or so.

Some other traditions that can be fun and practical are found in Dorothy Morrison's The Craft. Her book is a brilliant manual for the beginner. Here are some ideas from the book:
- Keep a fire or large candle burning throughout Beltaine.
- Make a floral wreath with greens and wildflowers from the land around you or from the grocery store.
- Dance the Maypole of course! If you really want a traditional dance, many communities hold them in town centers.
- Hold a food drive for the hungry.
- Serve an evening meal of breakfast foods.
- Invoke ferility before bed.

That's all for this Sabbat. Remember, the apex of this Full Moon is on May 2. That means that this current Sabbat will be concluded with an Esbat. What a blessing...and a headache for some. Don't be overwhelmed. If you need to, just incorporate the Hare Moon celebration into your Beltane festival. Wear pastels, decorate your altar with spring wildflowers and greenery, burn yellow candles and fruity incense, asperge your circle with wildflowers, weed the garden, serve sugared violets, and bless seeds for planting. These things and more can also be found in The Craft.

~ Josh

In the UK

2007-04-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

I'm in the UK now. The Pagan scene here is bleak! Let's get up that Pagan awareness blokes!

Mandala Prep - Scrying Exercise

2007-04-14T17:02:00.000-07:00

This exercise will help you learn to use "soft vision." Soft vision is the mode in which your eyes must be in order for you to scry effectively. I love how that rhymes.

Soft vision is the mode your eyes slip into when you are zoning out and the mode your eyes must be in in order to perceive the hidden picture in a stereogram. The same technique can be utilized with a mandala to open up new visionary portals in your mind and to stretch out the Third Eye.

Find a mandala online using Google Images and print it out. It is best, at this stage, if it is black and white and very simple. My favorite one is a pattern of geomatric shapes. It is very plain and it gets the job done.

Put on some inspiring and meditative music. I recommend Sting's "A Thousand Years" and "Desert Rose." Slip into soft vision afte focusing intently for a while on the hub of the mandala. Your peripheral, after some practice, will blank out. It will mostly blank out white whereas, while you are using a scrying mirror, your peripheral will blank out black. However, if your mandala has its colors inverted, it will then too fade to black.

Have fun with this, experiment, and don't strain yourself. Practice grounding and centering always. Eat some chocolate and drink some milk if you feel weekend, light-headed, or dizzy. Don't push yourself to hard - the idea here is not to go blind or pass out, it's to see things in a new way.

~ Josh

P.S. Get that scrying mirror made if you haven't already! You'll need it for the next lessons.

Friday the Thirteenth

2007-04-12T19:16:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Friday and it is the thirteenth day of April. Now what is so special about that? Friday the 13th has an infamous "history," but when you separate "hi" and "story" you just get a load of bull from some guy who's, as some folks say, trippin'.

According to legend, Christ was crucified on Friday the 13th. There were 13 people sitting at the table of the Last Supper. And there is a whole gamut of unlucky omens surrounding the number 13 that has something to do with Jesus.

As a result of the Jesus thing and the recurrence of 13 in the Biblical narrative, many superstitions have developed around the number. One such suspicion was brought back to life by the Harry Potter series. I can't remember the professor's name, but the divination professor ominously declares the death of the first to rise from the holiday table in the great hall after the 13th guest is seated.

In Witchcraft, as in most mystery schools, 13 is a number of great importance and incredible fortune. It's not that we dislike Jesus, in fact many Pagans worship him as a god or as an Avatar - a human manifestation of God. The idea is that 13 is the number of counsel or governance (12) plus one. That one implies, in my opinion, governorship over the council indicated. The Biblical term for such a one was "King of Kings," the ancient equivalent of emperor. To bear a symbol of the numerical miracle that is 13 is to be the Emperor of your own fate.

Enjoy this Friday the 13th. Cast a spell for protection against superstitious residues and spend your precious breath blessing people throughout the day. Avoid interpreting omens of ill fate or performing any kind of divination that may involve negative connotations. Let's take this day back as a good occurrence.

~ Josh

Tarot Ethics - A Sketch

2007-04-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

In the near future I may be doing readings much more publicly and for a bit of dough, that is to say, cash. I think it's time to lay down the law about these readings and really make clear what I feel about the Tarot and charging for my services in the field.

~ Tarot comes from the word Rota, Latin for wheel. Tarot is a map of forces in one's life and not a fortune telling device. I use the Rota or Tarot to help the individual examine the present forces in his life and I do not predict insignificant life events or the turnout of simple situations.

~ Tarot is an art and science to be respected and I will not tolerate skeptical querents present for a reading only to try and prove me a quack. One who is curious is welcome, but don't spend the time or money on wasting my time and yours.

~ Charging for Tarot is acceptable and, once one has acquired sufficient skill and proven himself, mandatory. Fairly take and fairly give. It takes an extremely large amount of energy to execute a reading. Such services rendered are due compensation.

~ One should not charge so little that he cannot eat. Nor should one charge so much that those who are merely curious will be dissuaded from experimenting with the Tarot. A reader who is financially independent should have another job.

~ A reader should know his limits and not work past a set limit for readings each day. He should stretch himself at times to increase his skill, but should not allow himself to become exhausted.

~ A reader should be well versed in defense against harmful attitudes and influences.

~ A reader should have COMPLETED a relatively rigorous course of study in the Tarot from the following perspectives: practical, philosophical, psychological, and spiritual.

~ A reader should have memorized the conventional meanings of all of the cards in his deck and come up with his own interpretive meanings as well. Additional, he should have brought the two perspectives into synthesis with the four perspectives listed in the previous clause and should use the new lexicon of meanings in all readings.

~ A reader should know the reversed meanings of his cards and be able to deliver a positive reading despite their presence.

~ A reader should be skilled in empathy, constructive criticism, spiritual counseling, and both High and Low Magick.

These are just a few. Comments or questions? Probably not. I doubt I have a busload of readers yet. Ah but this is how all begins.

~ Josh

Computer Wizardry

2007-04-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

There's an Internet version of the classic strategy game Risk that I'm pretty much obsessed with. It can be found at conquerclub.com. One of the issues with playing on a school computer - as I was today - is that they are extremely slow and, once you start your turn, there is a one hour time limit. Another time limit that was approaching rapidly as I urged the computer with all my might to cooperate with me, was the arrival of my carpool.

The carpool came and I wasn't ready. I really needed the computer to work immediately as I was in an extremely pivotal point of the game. it was crunch time and my Book of Shadows was nowhere in sight.

Despite the fact that computers don't really jive with magick most of the time and I preach vehemently against spontaneous spell work, I broke two of my own rules given the situation and with confidence that I could formulate an appropriate spell in my head before using it on the computer. It follows:

Faster than the wind you'll see
As I will so mote it be.

After a while of repeating this with a great urgency to my computer companion, I began to really feel my aura expand and speed the computer up. It worked, in short, and I was able to finish my turn. Another technique I used a few times to really pack a punch in my spell was some friction energy. I rubbed my hands together rapidly until they heated up and turned my palms open and upward underneath the computer table. The web page would usually start loading as soon as I did this each time. After a while however, I seemed to be running out of energy.

Try this spell when you REALLY NEED your computer, or another, to speed up, like when you're leaving for school and your email account where you saved that term paper just won't load the correct file for printing. See how much success you can have when you put forth an honest effort.

NOTE: Don't abuse your computer or your skills by using this spell whenever you are unnecessarily impatient, thanks.

~ Josh

The Inner Bell

2007-04-09T17:06:00.000-07:00

The following post was written on April 8, 2007. That is, it was written on Easter while I was at brunch with my family. I think you may find it interesting. It involves both obeying hunches and the amazing synchronicity that rules our lives. Witches especially should be able to recognize this phenomenon of nature in their lives.

This morning I had a hunch to bring a shoelace with me to brunch with my family. You see, I've been learning some simple magic tricks as suggested by a mentor of mine, Oberon Zell-Ravenheart. He believes that conjury, or parlour trickery, is part of the wonder and awe of magick. Therefore, I've been practicing a simple trick with family members - and thus the string. I ignored the hunch.

When we got to the brunch, I left my notebook in the car. I figured there would be no opportunity to write. I ignored another hunch

We went inside and were delayed for 15-20 minutes. I would've had plenty of time to jot down a few thoughts or practice my trick on innocent filial connections. Instead, I was left with no outlet for my smilingly endless supply of anxious energy. I ignored my inner bell and was left, as I see it, naked and alone without magick or means of expression.

This is just a simple lesson, but it mustn't be ignored. Don't ignore your inner bell. It will guide you toward the most content state of mind possible in any given situation.

On that note, here is something I received from my inner bell yesterday while I happened to be using the bathroom (where I do my best thinking): A Wizard with few valuable things is far better than a Wizard with many insignificant contraptions.

I hope this little note was beneficial to my readers. I wrote it immediately after I realized what I had done on Sunday. The silver lining to this rather gloomy piece is that I since followed my own advice. There was a problem with my online enrollment form for the Grey School of Wizardry which I was just enrolled in today. I kept feeling like my screen name was causing all the trouble. It included a space and an apostrophe. I changed it in a last ditch effort to make everything work out to my benefit, and it worked. I encourage any of my readers interested in approaching Witchcraft in the most well-rounded way possible to enroll in the course.

~ Josh

P.S. Following my little epiphany on the toilet, I tore apart my room and filled an industrial sized trash bag with a ton of useless junk that was hiding in the corners. My room is much cleaner and has an entirely new, open, and positive feeling about it. Hooray!

The Red Box of Courage

2007-04-07T16:14:00.000-07:00

This is a long term spell that will take some time and energy and, perhaps, a minimal amount of money. This is an idea I came up with as a sort of "phoenix response" to a quasi self-abuse scheme I taught myself while in the conservative religious movement known as Messianic Judaism.

Originally, the Red Box was a thing of lamentation. I spent the time I would've used to do "sinful" things painting the box red and painting every day objects as well. I look back now and think that I probably would've been more constructive if I did the sinful things. I obviously don't see those things as sinful anymore.

So this is what I did. I considered how a phoenix rises from his death of ashes to a new and golden rebirth. From my disgrace I rise to a higher level. I consider courage to be one of the opposites of guilt. Guilt suppresses and makes a person a complete introvert and something of a pee on. Courage lifts up and restores a person to a position of autonomy and power. My Red Box is now just that. It gives me courage to look at it. It reminds me that I am a phoenix, rising from the ashes of my old manner of living. When I handle the things in the box, they boost my courage. So here is how to make a Red Box of your own:

Get yourself a sturdy wooden box with a lid on a hinge. Paint it entirely red with acrylic paint. Make sure you cover the whole surface of the box. This might take a couple coats of paint in a few painting sessions. When you let it dry, remember to leave the lid open. If you shut the lid on wet paint it might seal shut. If it does, pry it open with a screwdriver. BE CAREFUL!!!

Now find some mundane objects. Find things that really aren't that pretty or important. My Red Box contains a dime, a small terra cotta pot, a plain seashell, a smaller plain seashell, and a smooth, gray rock. Paint your objects red and imbue them with courageous, creative, and powerful energy. Speak words of power and bravery to these things, give them voices of fire. These mundane objects will soon become very important to you.

I haven't devised a spell for the Red Box, but some of the best rituals have no spells. It's OK if you want to write your own spell for the box, but be careful not to limit the box with your spell. For example, don't open with something like "Oh box of courage, help me against bullies..." or "Great Red Box, chase away my shyness..." It might be a better idea to put spells for courage in specific situations in the box after reciting them rather then casting them on the box. That way your Red Box is a generator for courage, not an amulet for a single event.

Anyway, be sure to spend time with your Red Box and its inhabitants often. Date any spells you put in it, or even any notes or prayerful requests, so that you can look back in a few days or weeks or months or years and see how those things were fulfilled in your life. You might even laugh when you see how much you have grown and changed.

I hope you enjoy this idea. It has certainly helped me to transform an object I once used to rebuke myself. It has become something that has the potential to help me and others. Help me in this transformation by making your own Red Box and help me in a more global sense by transforming your own objects of grief or guilt into objects of rebirth, new hope, and courage.

~ Josh

Scrying Lesson 2 Prep

2007-04-07T12:26:00.000-07:00

Here is an activity to get you ready for scrying lesson 2. If you try this regularly but not so much that your eyes hurt, it will help you allow your eyes to pick out images without your conscious help.

Go to Google and type in "stereogram" and give one a shot. What you should do is allow your eyes to go out of focus as if you are zoning out. Your eyes will slowly start to pick up pieces of the hidden image. It is tempting, at first, to look at the images right away. DON'T DO THAT! Allow your eyes to fully expose the images. If you totally relax and let your eyes do their thing, they will eventually bring the image into focus and you can look at it in 3-D.

It's hard at first. Once you get the hang of it, however, it's a blast. Remember, take a break after a couple and let your eyes rest. I spent way to much time looking at one once and my eyes hurt for days. Have fun!

~ Josh

More from my correspondences...

2007-04-07T08:55:00.000-07:00

Remember that friend I sent an email to about Pagan faith? It was in an earlier post. She recently sent me another email (which I shall not post for the sake of her privacy) and I responded with the following. I thought you fellow Witches and Pagans might find it interesting. This is, I feel, a fair defense of our faith. Remember, however, that this is also an equalizer. We are not alive today to fight Christians, we are alive today to fight bigotry and closed-mindedness. Sometimes Christians are bigoted and closed-minded, sometimes Witches and Pagans are the same way. Our enemy is the Spirit Headstrong, not the Spirit Christian or the Spirit Jewish or the Spirit Muslim. I hope you find truth in this post and that it builds you up...

You have a happy Easter as well. We are getting all that spring cleaning done today too. It's rather exhausting and I hate vacuuming but it needs to be done.

Just so you know, I am not Wiccan nor do I have any intention of becoming Wiccan. I do practice Witchcraft, but not Necromancy like the Witch of Endor. Nor do I practice idolatry, like the Witches in the Bible. Witches then were not really Witches in the sense that we use the word today. I would sooner call Moses and Solomon Witches (and, in fact, Solomon was one of the most skilled Wizards of all time according to the Bible) than call the worshippers of Ba'al Zebub practitioners of High, or even Low Magick. Witchcraft today is not a religion, it is not idolatrous in nature, and most of us don't even worship multiple gods. We see all Gods and Goddesses as One, as we are one with Them/It. It's the same thing as the Trinity, which was actually introduced to Christianity by a Pagan - St. Patrick.

Regarding your comment about resurrection: According to legend, Odin was resurrected after his crucifixion on Yggdrasil. According to the New Testament, just as legendary as any other text, Jesus was also resurrected after His crucifixion on the Cursed Tree. Trusting one book over the other is a matter of faith and personal predisposition, but I don't see a point in it. It's like trusting the dictionary over the encyclopedia. Go ahead, trust the encyclopedia, but what will it say that is different from the dictionary? It might say more, but it won't be different.

Point is, I believe in One Universal Life Force. Everything comes from that. It is impossible to break away or rebel. It is possible to harm yourself, and that is what happens to us when we close our minds. However, we will all learn more in the next life, so why bother venting our spiritual frustrations on our neighbors? I have a couple reasons for following Witchcraft: First and foremost it is a calling. Next, it has a conspicuous history with my family. And lastly, and least important, it yields powerful results. You follow Christ for the same reasons. You are called, and you obey that call; it is your family faith; your prayers are answered and you feel that God is listening when you pray. Simple, isn't it?

I think it's wonderful that you are a Christian. Christianity is one of the closest faiths to Gnosticism and Hinduism. It's about release from the bondages of the world and finding the God within. Christians teach accepting Christ that He might dwell in them. As the sun is bright, so does God dwell in me.

Enjoy your holiday,
Josh

Interesting? I think it's time we quit contrasting to find differences. There are so many similarities between our faith and other faiths. We have the same origins don't we? Are we not all the same species? Just some food for thought, my trusty readers. Enjoy your holy weekend. Every weekend, every day, that the God and Goddess make is holy.

~ Josh

AFI Miss Murder Lyrics

2007-04-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

Here are some interesting lyrics from AFI. Now here is a little mystery for you to solve. What do you think I would be getting out of them? I see a very powerful, a forceful message here. What do you think about it?

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I
Take my life? (Whoa oh oh)

With just a look
They shook
And heavens bowed before him
Simply a look
Can break
Your heart.

The stars that pierce the sky
He left them all behind
We're left to wonder why
He left us all ... behind

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I
Take my life? (Whoa oh oh)

Dreams of his crash
Won't pass
Oh how they all adored him
Beauty will last
When spiraled Down.

The stars that mystify
He left them all behind
And how his children cried
He left us all ... behind

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I
Take my life? (Whoa oh oh)

What's the hook, the twist within this verbose mystery?
I would gladly bet my life upon it
That the ghost you love, your ray of light will fizzle out
Without hope, hope.

We're the empty set just floating through wrapped in skin,
Ever searching for what we were promised
Reaching for that golden ring we'd never let [it] go...
Who would ever let us put our filthy hands upon it?

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I
Take my life?(Whoa oh oh)

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I
Take my life?(Whoa oh oh)

[ Lyrics found on http://www.metrolyrics.com ]

When War is Justified

2007-04-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

Withces are generally peaceable people. Or, at least, they should be. As Witches, we are called to adhere to the Wiccan Rede: "An it harm none, do what thou wilt." Some of you eclectics might shudder at being charged to follow a Wiccan principle. Wicca is a religion, Witchcraft is a practice. However, remember the meaning of the word Wicca. Wicca (originally pronounced WIT-ja like WITCH-ah) is the Old English word for "wise one" coming from the root witan - to know. We are called to the Rede of the Craft of the Wise, the law of all who aspire toward a higher life, to harm nothing.

In light of that principle, the eight core words of Witchcraft, one would assume that he is meant to avoid and utterly abstain from militant practices and ideals. I beg to differ. We aren't Quakers and many Wiccans, Witches, and Neopagans serve in the armed forces of many nations. From a spiritual perspective Witches learn all kinds of protective and reflective spells that can wreak havoc in an aggressor's life. These are fine examples of seeming exceptions from the Rede, but it is not so.

As Witches, we also honor another rule, the Law of Return. This is also called the Threefold Law and I think it a fine synthesis to meld them into one term: the Threefold Law of Return. Everything that you send out, good or ill, comes back to you three times as strong. That is the Law. Many teachers of Witchcraft advise you not to mess with the Law. They will tell you not to try to enforce karma and to let it run its course. Most of the time this is right.

The certainty of the Rede and the Law ends where a perplexing gray area begins. What if the Craft as a whole is endangered? What if you are being directly attacked? What if you have tried every spell of protection and you need to take defensive but aggressive action for the sake of your safety? Is it right to allow karma to take its sweet time while you are being punished? Harm none, that is the Rede. Allowing an act of malice to harm you is not harming none. If you do not defend yourself, you are effectively harming yourself.

Do not misunderstand what I am trying to get across. Don't go out and purchase a black magick mojo bag and start throwing firebrand spells at all the bullies in your school. Think creatively; most aggressive people are aggressive because of an insecurity. It is not a responsible practice to cast spells on someone without asking their permission, but you can at least cast a spell to make yourself a more obvious example of fair behavior to such a person in your life.

This post is concerned with much grander schemes than bullying or name-calling, and it must be taken seriously. Our world, for centuries and millenia, has been roamed by evangelists of many faiths that seek to convert everything in their path. What if we had a tool that could slow the conversion process and even bring it to a halt in specific areas? I'm not talking about attacking Christian evangelists or barraging Muslim proselytizers with binding spells, I'm talking about casting widespread and extremely powerful circles of protection around our homes, our covensteads, and our neighborhoods. These circles would serve a specific purpose - rejecting indoctrination and promoting free and unfettered religious thought.

There is a problem with this idea. If Sally and Schmo, two hypothetical Witches, decide to cast such a circle around their town, is that acting without the permission of their neighbors? If there are Christian missionaries living down the street, does that take an effect on them? Here is an idea that I got from a great Witch and author named Amber K. It comes from her book "True Magick:"

Considering that the Higher Self is the seed of divinity within us, we can entrust it with every moral dilemma. What if Sally and Schmo were to cast a circle of white light on the astral plane with a condition - every High Self aspect of every individual within the bounds of the circle would be given the option of whether or not to benefit from the circle of protection?

Now let's say that, within the bounds of the circle, Sue is walking down the street and she is open to hearing about other faiths and even has an interest in Islam. A Muslim woman begins sharing her faith with Sue and Sue listens and considers what she has to say. Wonderful. Samuel is walking down another street in the same area. A Christian evangelist approaches him and begins to preach about Christianity. Samuel is not interested, but the preacher persists. Samuel even tells the missionary he is not interested, but his discomfort is ignored. Samuel's Higher Self kicks in. It is the function of that aspect of the human spiritual being to protect. Samuel is given courage to end the conversation, maintain his own comfort, and be secure in his beliefs. For that moment and, perhaps, after that, Samuel is tapping into the circle of protection. It does not render him a close-minded person, it only gives him the encouragement to mind his own convictions. He is not blocked from ever talking to a missionary again, he is only given a sense of security and courage to continue on his way without cause for delay.

Casting such a circle would be useful to area Witches and non-Witches alike. The circle would keep out nasty spiritual influences, the environment in the area would improve, and cases like Samuel's would be better handled. The community as a whole would be less bitter and more open. Is that so harmful? Is that unethical? To be honest, I really don't know. It was just an idea that popped into my head last night and I though it was good information to share and discuss.

NowI need the help of the Neopagan community. What is right in this situation? Should Witches be trained to cast vast protective circles or to wield defensive power that might bring retribution on an offender? Many religions practice spiritual warfare. Is it now the time that Witches learn the same art?

Let me know what you think. Let's keep this discussion going. This might just be a crazy idea and an unethical urge to take things into my own hands and be a vigilante. But please, I need to know what you think. I only know one perspective, that's mine, and I'd like to broaden that.

~ Josh

Gaining the Sight - Part 1

2007-04-02T17:02:00.000-07:00

Gaining the sight has been a matter of speculation and skepticism for not only centuries, but millenia. It has been the subject of thousands of books and the focus of so many cults and religious factions. There are sensible methods taught for opening the Third Eye such as meditations, mantras, and visualizations, and there are methods that seem more pain than progress. The key to any jump in spiritual experience - and opening the Third Eye is certainly a quantum leap - is finding the right method for you.

The next few posts under this title, "Gaining the Sight," will be about various exercises you can easily perform toward opening the Third Eye. Before I actually divulge the first of these exercises, however, I wish to lay down some ground rules:

1. First of all, anyone working with psychic energy or capabilities must realize a fundamental truth to the art: you are not gaining anything. Everything you need to get those psychic juices flowing is within you. When one says, "Gaining the Sight," he means becoming aware of the sight you already have. As for "opening" the Third Eye, it's already open, you just have to start using it. There are parts of your body that you, like most people, seldom if ever use. Take a rigorous dance class and you will very quickly become aware of those parts. Psychic vision is the same. It is natural, inherent, and free. There is no amazing supernatural goal here, it's just working out a muscle your body and mind were previously unaware of.

2. Next you need to consider your motives. What do you want to see? What are you open to seeing? If you are diving into this, soaking up all my words like a mental sponge, under the assumption that I am going to teach you to read minds, see into the future to win the lottery, or keep tabs on your straying boyfriend or girlfriend, you need to get a grip. The goal in this course is communing with the Divine Essence, not using scrying as a means to tell fortunes.

3. Finally you have to think about the dangers of this art. I have shared with people about various mystical arts before, inserting little phrases like "but be careful of the dangers of this meditation" or "watch out for the complications of this visualization." Sometimes I am asked, "what dangers?" It's just an image in my head right? WRONG! That attitude is bound to get you hurt, and I hope no one reading this will struggle long with it. I'm not concerned with demons pouring out of some wormhole portal you accidentally open in a trance, I'm concerned with one of my readers becoming obsessed with scrying, rejecting food and sleep and schoolwork to catch up on cosmic relations. Also, I am concerned regarding mental health. You don't know what you will see. In my most recent scrying session there were flashing lights and flaming winds and a cosmic throne! But these things were perceived in the midst of utter darkness and only after I was shown the dragon guarding them. Once a vision begins, it leaps out of the crystal ball and off the scrying mirror. Your peripheral vision shuts down and your forward vision begins to slant out of focus. Your eyes may close, blink, or cross involuntarily, and if you aren't careful you could pull an optic muscle. (Yes, you have optic muscles and they can be pulled quite easily.) Visions like this will most likely not occur in your first session. If you sit down to a scrying mirror and see an orb or disk of light you have had a grand success. However, think about the shock and fear you will experience upon facing a dragon. There is no TV screen between you and him, and this is no excerpt from a book. Fantasy land has been annexed by Sweden and you are now in the real world. Real dragons? Perhaps there are none in the physical realm, but you better believe that the greatest visions are guarded by the most vicious of beasts. You have to be ready as a Witch and a thinking person for the visions you will experience in time.

4. On that happy note, grounding and centering is a must for every scrying session both before and after your visionary quest. I also insist on having a firm connection with some protecting deity. If you aren't "that kind of Pagan" that worships a trillion different facets of the Divine Essence, then at least go into this with a nod to the Lord and Lady. Carry a quartz rock crystal or a pentacle for protection. I also recommend a hexagram (star of David). It was used in countless old grimoires to protect the summoner of a demon. I'm sure, if it could do that, that it can protect you in most situations. I have an altar on which I light candles and raise a small incense offering before beginning any hardcore meditations. All the things in my "The Witch's Toolbox" article are present on my altar. You may also wish to wear a black cloak when you work with things like this. It will protect you from spiritual influences you are unaware of. In short, this is highly advanced magick and I feel for the person who dives into it without understanding the power he is playing with.

Now to move on to the actual exercises. the first is simple and you will be able to do it right now, with just the computer you are sitting at. For future exercises, you will be needing a scrying mirror. I will explain how to make one of your own at the end of this article. Also, you may want to invest in a crystal ball. DO NOT go all out and by a thousand dollar piece of hardware for your first gazing ball. There are much cheaper alternatives, most of which are entirely appropriate for a beginner. Use either black glass or pure lab crystal at first. I suggest pure lab crystal as you will have a black scrying mirror. Future exercises will also need to be practiced at night, when it is relatively dark out. Invest in candles and don't use fiber optic anything.

Exercise 1 - The Mind's Eye

This exercise is useful in feeling out the capabilities of your mind's eye. Close your eyes for a second (not yet; keep reading). After a few moments, your mind's eye will begin to relay messages back to your brain, telling it what it is seeing. Most of what you see as you sit there with your eyes closed will be ideas and information not actual shape and form. This exercise helps you to recognize the difference and "force" yourself to see. OK, close your eyes and try the first part now.

Hint: It is a very good idea to keep a magickal journal and include these exercises in it. If you don't have one, invest in one asap. If you cannot get a paper one, use the computer.

The next part is a bit more interactive. You will examine one of the shapes below, whichever you like the most, and really let the image burn into your minds eye. Study it. I know the shapes are simple; it's supposed to be like psychic preschool. Now close your eyes and see how well you can visualize the image. What do you notice? Shift your vision around and find a viewing position that allows you to really see that image in your mind's eye. Where is most comfortable for you and most effective?

Here's a little help to get you moving along. The most advantageous viewing point in your mind's eye is in front of your forehead. Most visualizing will be done on something like a visionary screen that is in front of and a little above your eyes. It is tilted downward like an overhead monitor so that you can clearly see everything happening on the screen. Not coincidentally, the screen is just in front of the Third Eye, or at least where the Third Eye is said to be in relation to the physical body and the aura.

Now, you don't have to crane your neck or stretch out your optic nerve to see things on the screen. Your vision will naturally shift upward with practice and you won't need to move your physical eyes at all. This is the first step in your visionary quest. Practice this a few times, but don't bore yourself with it. When you've got it, or even gotten close, stop. Take a break and do something else. Come back to this tomorrow and work on it again. What you could do in the interim is bug me with emails requesting the next part...

Making a Scrying Mirror

Find a thick and strong piece of relatively clean and scratch-free glass. Shape doesn't matter much as long as it is flat but I prefer a circle because it is conducive to ritual. Additionally, the visionary membranes of your eyes are circular. I think it's a no brainer. Next, thoroughly clean the glass. Break out that Windex and apply some elbow grease. No real grease though, the streaks would never come out. After you Windex, take a damp paper towel and get any residue off. The glass needs to be absolutely clean. Now pick a side to paint.

Painting a piece of glass black is harder than it would seem. A single pinhole of light renders a scrying mirror - essentially - useless. The idea of a scrying mirror is to achieve an empty mind, void consciousness. Utter darkness is what your going for here. The side you choose to paint should be absolutely coated in black. Test the mirror after each coat by holding it up to a bright lamp and seeing where the light shines through. Believe it or not, my scrying mirror required five thick coats of black, acrylic paint.

Now get a stand for your mirror. Frame or book stands work well. I made my mirror from the glass of a tiny end table with a metal frame. When I was done painting and letting the mirror dry, I just lowered the glass back onto the table frame and used the table as a stand. You can get similar things for dirt cheap in a large supermarket like Walmart or Target (pronounced tar-ZHAY).

Cover your scrying mirror with a cloth and be careful with it. Don't scratch it. The light a scratch in glass captures is enough to distract you from being oblivious to the world around you. Chips in the glass and dust are also not conducive to scrying.

Good luck with all your work and feel free to comment or ask questions. I moderate every comment you post and my personal email is available on this blog.

~ Josh

Saturn's Bonds

2007-04-02T13:19:00.001-07:00

This is a spell that draws on the limiting power of Saturn for the purpose of self control. This is a great practice right now while the moon is still very full. Gather some seeds, any kind of seed, and scatter them on the wind or over a Fey garden (I keep one outside on the border of my stone circle), and recite the spell. Make sure you mean to get rid of the thing you use the spell on and act in accord. Acting in accord means actually taking steps to make the spell come true. Spell work is useless if not couple with true intent to do something about the situation you are casting for.

Restriction I call unto me
Saturn aid me, let there be
A sudden surge of self control
And with this (square, seal, name) my self I hold.

The (square, seal, name) insertion indicates where you have to make a choice and personalize the spell. You may hold the Square of Saturn inscribed on a paper leaflet or clay tablet, the Seal of Saturn on the same medium, or you may simply bellow on of the alternate names of Saturn at the end of the spell instead of just saying something like, "So mote it be." The names are OMELIEL and ANAKHIEL. The first is pronounced oh-MEL-ee-el. The second is a-NA-khee-el. The "kh" is like a clearing of the throat. I liken it unto the Hebrew "Ch" in Chanukah or the Spanish "g" or "j" in...some other words.

The Square of Saturn and the Seal of Saturn are inserted below respectively. Please don't give me grief about how my numbers are not very well aligned and how the lines of the seal are not very straight. DO NOT print this page and cut out my drawings. I made then in "paint." They are not high quality magickal talismans. Make them yourself. Before anyone asks me why the Seal of Saturn looks like it does, that is quite simple. Connect the numbers from the square in order and in sets of three. In other words, connect 1, 2, and 3. Then connect 4, 5, and 6. Lastly connect 7, 8, and 9 and you will have completed the Seal of Saturn. I'm not sure where the square comes from but if someone requests more information on planetary squares and seals I will find out.

Casting Religion into Oblivion

2007-04-02T07:06:00.000-07:00

The following is an email I wrote and sent to a friend today. I think it has some value to the Witching world as it emphasizes what is behind our ecclectic attitude toward the world. Even Wiccans, who actually follow a religion of Witchcraft, can relate, as Wicca is a combination of paths and ideas, eastern and western. Any religious person should be able to relate for nothing is isolated in the world.

Please bear in mind that this address was written from the perspective of one who was formerly very active in Jewish and Christian circles. I firmly believe everything I wrote below, but my readers have to understand that I am not a Christian and I do not promote Christian ideals. I believe Christ is yet another manifestation of what we, as Pagans, all worship - the Divine Essence in multiple forms and faces for all different causes and occassions. (That's my disclaimer, every word of it true.)

I agree that many of my ideas are questionable and I am constantly mulling over the things I believe in to check myself. If there are any feelings of doubt, I reevaluate and pray for guidance. I am going through one of those periods now, but I find that what I believe is so often misunderstood. It isn't that I believe in different paths, it's that I believe they are all the same. Odin, in Norse mythology, is just another representation of Christ. In fact, hundreds of years before Christ was cruxified, Odin's own story of cruxifiction was recorded. I don't worship Odin as Christ, but I believe the Norse religion was valid as a bridge to the idea of sacrifice for salvation. Perhaps it was easier for Norske tribes to accept Christ because of the legend, and God intended for them to trust in Odin so that they would be familiar with the Christ story already. This is evident in other cultures too. The Greeks worshipped a nameless god with sacrifices much like the ones found in the Old Testament. The ancient Chinese even worshipped a god called Shangdi, a word that is coincidentally used much like "Shaddai." And there is Krishna, whose words are often identical to Christ's, who is the second person of the Hindu Trinity, who was conceived in a spiritual incident, and who was said to be "the seed of the woman bruising the serpents head." Whether God was getting the Pagans ready for Christ or not is a matter of debate, but I think it is possible. However, I believe in progressive reveltation and perpetual revelation. We aren't done yet, and I think perhaps that God is getting us ready for an even greater understanding of the Divine Essence. All these ideas we have about God, all these different faces, names, attributes, and stories are only a great veil that protects us from the Divine Truth. That Truth is so glorious, so powerful, that we cannot perceive it. As in the Old Testament, we cannot see God's face and live. Pagan gods and practices, even our God and practices, are images we use to get closer to the veil, to rub our hands and faces on it and feel the Divine Essence flowing through us. We remove the veil by transcending it, and to transcend it we must imbibe its essential flow. As the veil in the Temple at Jerusalem, it must be rent. But how do we rend the veil? By exalting it. For all things exalted shall fall away and give rise to something greater. As the Tower of Babel, our human race will eventually learn to exalt all faiths, all cultures, all peoples, and all things, and then our concepts of religion will fall away and there will be no separation from God. You call this the Millennial Kingdom or the Messianic Age, I call this Nirvana. It doesn't matter.What is important is that we both are approaching that moment, that flash of bliss, when we will realize the purity of the Divine Essence as well as our oneness with it. In that moment, the physical world will fall apart and we will be free. Until then, hold on to your ideas about salvation, they keep you close to the veil. Just consider that they may not be there in the end. Remember that the Law "died" in Christ. Perhaps someday our vision of Christ will pass into oblivion with us. We will not need religion anymore, because we will be with it. We will not need Christ, per se, because we will be with Christ, in Christ, and one with Christ. That's what I believe. And it is the same for everyone. One with Odin, one with Krishna, one with Shangdi, or Buddha, or Gaia, it's all the same to me.

~ Josh

All Fools Day

2007-04-01T18:37:00.000-07:00

April fools. Today is that crazy day when hackers reign on the Internet and webmasters are translating their pages into Swedish Chef speak. Despite the fact that I am now a sold out fan of the Swedish Chef (check out the article about him on Wikipedia and do a search on Youtube), there doesn't seem to be much use for this day.

I beg to differ.

All Fools Day doesn't exactly have a history. Its origins are as convoluted as the war our nation presently fights. Isn't that just perfect, though? The point of the day isn't, as some seem to think, playing practical jokes. The point is our becoming the subject of the greatest practical joke of all time - human life. The lesson we need to learn on this day is in the card above which was designed by the wonderfully brilliant Salvador Dali. A grand artist and sneaky occultist (apparently), I know regrettably little about Dali. What I do know is that there is some powerful imagery in his work and we can learn from it.

The Tarot Trump "The Fool" or "El Loco" is representative of the bliss of ignorance. When set against the backdrop of the things we have yet to discover in the world, we are fools and the human race is the Fool. The entirety of the Major Arcana of the Tarot composes the "Fool's Journey" and we are walking that path. That makes the Major Arcana our "Hitchhiker's Guide" to the human experience.

So considering that unadulterated and ignorant fool, we are allowed a glimpse at his universe. he understands practically nothing about it, though he does not know this, and he is driven by an inescapable and ineffable passion. He doesn't know it, but his higher self is driving him onward to learn more. The cosmos are leading him through a series of inevitable rites of passage in opposition to his assumption of supremacy. The Fool is, in so many ways, the human child.

Still, there is something to be learned from him. As we grow, we learn the ways of the manipulative Magician, the mysterious High Priestess, and the mothering Empress. The authority of the Emperor is compelling, the education of the Hierophant often confounding, and the Lovers teach us the hot flames of sexuality for the very first time. I could go on and list the rest of the Arcana, but you get the gist. The Fool, that's you and me, learns so many lessons. He often forgets his place in the grand scheme of things. He is, quite simply, a fool, nothing more.

We are fools, my friends, and we hop along on our tiny speck in the cosmos as if we are kings and commandants of mighty empires. Today is All Fools Day. Today is the day when we remember our place and are humbled by this magnificent and elaborate prank the Divine Essence has pulled on us. It made us the center of the universe in our own minds, and we only live on the brink of its bluffs.

Happy April Fools Day!

~ Josh

When Hollidays Collide

2007-03-31T20:11:00.000-07:00

The next few days are jam packed full of holidays. Palm Sunday is tomorrow, the Seed Moon is celebrated tomorrow night through Mondays night, and Pesakh (Passover) starts as Seed Moon celebration reaches a climax. For a Wiccan, or anyone else who walks a specific path, this might not seem so significant. But for an eclectic Witch, this is of chief importance.

When holidays "collide" there is a massive aura of business in the air. Whether you are Wiccan, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Baha'i, your prayers raise energy. When multiple holidays coincide like this, many millions - perhaps billions - of people are raising energy simultaneously. There is a disadvantage to this: all that energy can be extremely overwhelming and it is important to ground and center throughout the day. Take a walk outside, hold a heavy rock in your lap, press your hands into the earth and feel its steady flow of power. The benefits of such times, however, are outstanding.

Many faiths, especially Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, release the power they raise to the cosmos. This is called "worship." Worship, from a Witch's perspective, is raising power and sending it to the Divine Essence no strings attached. It is prayer without petition and it magnifies the glory of a specific aspect of god form. The energy released will be so huge in the next couple of days, that there will be plenty to draw upon for powerful ritual work. One might consider this stealing from God, but I see it as working with God.

When we perform magick, we are synchronizing ourselves with the Divine Essence. It is not only for our own cause that we cast spells, but for the universal cause of enlightenment. Magick balances our energies and the earth's energies. The universe is improved when we work for the things we want if we work in a positive spirit. This is where greed and theft are eliminated. Don't feel guilty about working with the energy of deity!

The next few days, feel the energy seething around you. Take hold of some, inhale it, drink it in, eat it. Don't be overwhelmed by the power, ground it instead. Cast a spell or channel some of that vibrant light to a loved one or friend in need, someone who will accept it willingly and know what to do with it. Although the next piece of advice may seem strange, try it and see what you can accomplish with it. Go to church. Yes, I said it, go to church. Either that or attend a Passover Seder. The vantage point for collecting the energies religious persons will be raising this weekend and on Monday and into Tuesday is in the places the people will raise the energies in. Simply put, churches and synagogues will be full of beneficial energies in the next few days. If you can attend one without feeling negatively about your surroundings, I would say it is a good idea to do so.

This is my itinerary for the weekend. Tomorrow, I go to church with my mother for a Palm Sunday service. I will try my best to collect a few palms and bring them home to my altar. Before I leave home with my boyfriend to hang out for the day (if those plans work out), I will scatter rose petals around my stone circle in the woods near my house. When I get home from my boyfriend's house, I plan to cast a circle for the Esbat and bless the palms I will have collected that morning. They will be distributed to friends and family on Monday. On Monday night, I plan to light a three-branched candelabra in honor of Passover and perhaps recite some of the prayers and the passover story from the Haggadah (the traditional ritual book for Passover). I'll eat some matzah and horseradish and maybe cook some of my favorite Passover foods. I don't plan on having a full-fledged Seder, but I might before the week is over.

None of those practices, except the circle casting, will be found in your everyday book of shadows. Few Witches will list Seders and church services among their favorite rituals and spiritual events. The key here is walking the eclectic path, understanding the value in different religious paths and sharing in the spirit of those occasions, especially when they coincide with the moon cycles of Witchcraft. Spirituality isn't only valid for Witches. In fact, the message of Witchcraft is quite opposite that idea. Spirituality is for all, and positive spirituality is always valid. But without a clear lens to view these other spiritual practices with, you won't get any benefit out of them.

If you don't buy the story of Christ's crucifixion, going to church might be a bother. Why should it? Pay attention to the teachings of Christ as a messenger of peace and love. You could even transform the procession of Christ into the procession of the Lord and wave your palm before the Lord entering the city of your heart to bring fertility to the Lady of the Seed Moon. If you don't believe in Moses parting the Red Sea, or the literal Exodus of the Jews from Egypt (although that is pretty close to historical fact), Let the Red Sea represent the trials ahead of you this year, and you are Moses brandishing your Athame to part them ahead of you. The waters will cascade down upon your troubles behind you and eliminate them. Your Exodus will be from bad habits, and the plagues will be protective energies obliterating your concerns. It's so easy to see the wealth and goodness in all paths of faith when we look deeper than the literal meanings of the stories. What are these ancient paths really teaching? If the path seems corrupt to you, look to their scriptures. Somewhere, somebody good wrote something wise in their text, otherwise it wouldn't exist anymore.

Happy holiday hunting this weekend, and the Blessings of Lord and Lady upon us all!

~Josh

The Witch's Toolbox

2007-03-31T10:44:00.000-07:00

Very few people know exactly what they will need to practice Witchcraft. All too often, we run out to the metaphysical shop and pick up a mass of mystical artifacts that will do us very little, if any, good. Here are a couple lists of absolute essentials from different perspectives.

List A - Bare Necessities
1. Nothing - Witchcraft does not require tools. They're handy and pretty and help a lot when it comes to visualization, but they are not essential. You can do everything with your self and by yourself. Some call this intrinsic magick or inner magick, but it's just magick. The power of intent is the key to Witchcraft, and it's all you need to succeed.

List B - Solitaire's Workshop
1. Book of Shadows - Oft times we forget that the written word is the next step from the spoken. You are reciting your spells before the King and Queen of the Universe. If you took their places for a day, how would you respond to some bumbling idiot trying to make up spells as they go and tripping over every word? Now, it must be taken into consideration that prayer is just as effective for some as spell work. Nevertheless, for spell work, writing down your spells in a special book is essential. Setting them to rhyme and rhythm is next in importance.

2. Fire - However you want to represent this element is up to you. Candles and matches are typical, oil lamps give a Middle Eastern flare. They are also dangerous. If you plan on burning papers with spells or personal requests on them, invest in a cauldron and work out of doors.

3. Water - Many Witches include water in circle casting via a dish of it on the altar. Oft times it is next to a dish of salt. Solitaires who have not yet advanced to circle casting often forget the importance of water. I suggest always having water present in spells and rituals, it is a reminder of the emotion we must put into our work. I always work with holy water present that I make myself with salt and water. In fact, I use my Chalice as a container for holy water instead of a vessel for libation. I have a separate cup for libations. In my solitaire tradition (Nefesh Da'at), water without salt is likened unto a gateway for curses.

4. Air - Incense usually fulfills this requirement. However, considering the symbol for Air is Fire with a crossbar, the presence of Fire is enough to remind us of air. Smoke comes before fire.

5. Earth - I use salt. You can use salt, rocks, bread, dirt, the floor, or whatever. The important thing is that all four elements are represented and you identify very easily with each symbol you use.

List C - Witch's Toolkit
1. Athame - The knife that represents Fire. Some say Air, but it makes more sense with Fire when you think about it for a while. This is ideally steel, double-edged, and black-handled. However, mine has a darkly stained wood handle and only one blade. I tied a black cloth cut from an old bed sheet around the handle. It's more important that you love and connect with your tools than that you follow all the "rules" of Witchcraft. HINT: There are no rules, only your rules. Your tools possess no power, so it is important to let them become an extension of you.

2. Cup/Chalice - This is usually silver or glass. It represents the Water element. Again, go with the flow and find something that syncs with you. Purchasing a gargantuan, Gothic chalice that has no appeal to you and does not resonate with the spirit of the work you are doing is entirely useless. If you are invoking dark power to aid you, however, that might be ideal.

3. Wand - The Wand represents Air. Some Witches insist on cutting a branch from a tree and give long ritual methods of doing so without harming the spirit of the tree. When I walk through the woods where my stone circle is, I snap tree branches off that might poke my eye out. I have been in those woods long enough that the trees and I have a mutual understanding that I could be injured by them. They don't mind, I'm sure. However, for a Wand, I find a fallen tree branch. Usually, the branch finds me. I found my Wand in the parking lot of my high school.

4. Pentacle - A pentacle can be made or purchased or found. To many Witches are obsessed with "perfection." Geometric perfection is human, natural perfection is divine. A sand dollar is far more perfect than a laser-cut, five-pointed pentagram circumscribed by a perfect circle measured out with 62 digits of pi. The Pentacle represents Earth.

5. Altar - Altars are not necessary; you may use the floor. However, an altar is a sign of respect and a focus for what you are doing. They may be decorated accordingly and add a magickal flare to your work.

6. Salt and Water - These are for casting a circle. There are three circles to be cast in most traditions: astral power, holy water, and incense. The salt and water are consecrated and mixed before they are asperged.

7. Deity Representation - A statue, two candles, a rock, and a drawing are a few ideas for this tool. You may choose not to represent deity aside from the deity within you.

These are the lists. Everything else is really up to you. These lists, even, are subjective. Here are a few tips! The lists are cumulative. Each list is useless with also incorporating the previous one. Personalize all of your magick, it's useless without your unique spiritual fingerprints. Observe simplification. Complex rituals often become tangled and hard to manage. Try making yourself a spell worksheet for every spell you cast. It will help you put things into perspective.

~ Josh

READ ME!

2007-03-29T19:14:00.000-07:00

This is my first post in "A Coven of Solitaires." A solitaire is a Witch who works alone. I have been a solitaire for quite a while now. In fact, I began my incognito nature worship when I was very young, pre-pre-teen actually. I found Witchcraft once, denounced it, found it twice, fought to stay away, and thrice was the circle cast and my heart was bound tighter to the Craft than a surfboard is to the top of some hot blonde's beachmobile. Boy is this going to be a blast writing. Can't wait for all those good comments.

So here's a short list of what you expect to find here:
~ Basic spells you can cast
~ Ideas for circle castings
~ Innovative ideas for grounding and centering and all that basic stuff
~ Kabbalistic incantations
~ Ceremonial magick ritual
~ Featured deities
~ Philosophy of magick
~ Book reviews and recommended author features
~ Whatever you want to read, I shall write!

Basically this is going to be an extremely ecclectic blog good for amazingly talented Witches, beginners in the Craft, interested parties, or skeptics. The only thing I don't want to see in my comments or inbox is hate mail. Keep it to yourself. I don't care what you think if it isn't constructive. Remember the Law of Return.

So this weekend I'll begin writing. The first post, or rather second, will have some ideas for the coming Esbat - the Seed Moon. If there are any questions about anything, I will try to answer promplty with email and posts. Thanks for reading!

~ Josh